Doors to Wisdom: A Memorial Day Gift sent me by

my Friend and Master of Positivity: Christian Godefroy


A King had, as only son, a young Prince, brave, skillful
and intelligent. To perfect his knowledge of Life, he sent
him by the side of an Old Wise Man.

"Bring Light to my Path of Life", the Prince asked.

"My words will faint away like the prints of your steps in
the sand", the Wise Man answered. However, I want to give you
some indications. On your Path, you will find 3 doors. Read
the rules written on each of them.

An irresistible need will urge you to follow them.
Don't try and get away from them, because you would be
condemned to live again, ceaselessly, what you have avoided.
I may tell you no more.

You have to feel all this deep in your heart and in your flesh.
Go, now. Follow this path, right in front of you. "

The Old Wise Man disappeared and the Prince entered
the Path of Life.

He was soon in front of a big door, on which one could read:

"CHANGE THE WORLD".

"It was my intention indeed", the Prince thought, "because
if some things please me in this world, others greatly displease
me."

And he began his first fight. His ideal, his ardour and his
power urged him to confront himself to the world, to undertake,
to conquer, to model reality according to his desires.

He found there the pleasure and the dizzyness of the conqueror,
but no peace in his heart. He managed to change some things but
many others resisted to him. Many years passed.

One day, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him:

"What have you learnt on your path?"

"I have learnt," the Prince answered, " how to discern what
is within my power and what is without, what depends on me and
what does not depend on me".

"That's good!", the Old Man said. "Use your strength to act
on what is within your power. Forget what's beyond your power."
And he disappeared.

A bit later, the Prince was in front of a second door.
He could read on it :

"CHANGE THE OTHERS".

"It was my intention indeed", he thought. "The others are
a source of pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction, but also,
of pain, bitterness and frustration."

And he rebelled against everything that could disturb him
or displease him in his fellow men. He tried to bend their
characters and to extirpate their defects.

It was there his second fight.

Many years passed.

One day, as he was meditating on the utility of the attempts
to change the others, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him:

"What have you learnt on your path?"

"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that the others are not
the cause or the source of my joys and my punishments, my
satisfactions and my setbacks. They are only opportunities
for all of them to be revealed.

It is in myself that all these things have their roots."

"You are right," the Wise Man said. "According to what they
wake up in you, the others reveal you to yourself. Be grateful
to those who make your enjoyment and pleasure vibrate.

But be also grateful to those who create in you suffering or
frustration, because, through them, life teaches you what
is left in you to learn and the path that you still have
to walk."

And the Old Man disappeared.

A bit further, the Prince arrived in front of a door, on
which these words were written:

"CHANGE YOURSELF".

"If I am myself the cause of my problems, it is indeed what's
left in me to work on", he said to himself.

And he began his 3rd fight. He tried to bend his character,
to fight his imperfections, to abolish his defects, to change
everything that did not please him in himself, everything that
did not correspond to his ideal.

After many years of this fight, in which he met some success,
but also, some failures and some resistances, the Prince met the
Wise Man who asked him:


"What have you learnt on your path?"

"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that there are things
that we can improve, others that resist to us and that we can't
manage to break."

"That's good!" the Wise Man said.

"Yes", the Prince went on, "but I am beginning to be tired
of fighting against everything, against everybody, against
myself. Won't there be an end to it one day? When shall I
find a rest? I want to stop fighting, to give up, to
abandon everything, I want to let go !"

"It is precisely your next lesson", the Old Wise Man said.
"But before going any further, turn round and behold the path
covered."

And he disappeared.

On looking back, the Prince saw in the distance the 3rd door,
and noticed that it was carrying a text on its back, saying :

"ACCEPT YOURSELF."

The Prince was surprised not to have seen this writing when
he went through the door, the other way.

"When one fights, one becomes blind", he said to himself.

He also saw, lying on the ground, scattered around him,
everything he had thrown away and fought against in him:
his defects, his shadows, his fears, his limits, all his
old worries. He had learnt then how to recognize them, to
accept them, to love them. He had learnt how to love himself
without comparing himself to the others any more, without
judging himself, without reprimanding himself.

He met the Old Wise Man who asked him:

"What have you learnt on your path?"

"I have learnt", the Prince answered," that hating or refusing
a part of myself, it is to condemn myself never to be in
agreement with myself. I learnt how to accept myself, totally,
unconditionally."

"That's good!", the Old Man said, it is the first rule in
Wisdom. Now you can go back through the 3rd door."

He had no sooner reached the other side, that the Prince
perceived far away the back side of the second door, on which
he could read:

"ACCEPT THE OTHERS".

All around him, he could recognize the persons he had been
with all his life through; those he had loved as well as those
he had hated. Those he had supported and those he had fought.

But the biggest surprise of all for him was that now, he was
absolutely unable to see their imperfections, their defects,
what formerly had embarrassed him so much, and against which
he had fought.

He met the Old Wise Man again.

"What have you learnt on your path?" he asked him.

"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that by being in
agreement with myself, I had no more anything to blame in the
others, no more anything to be afraid of in them. I have
learnt how to accept and to love the others, totally,
unconditionally."

"That's good!", the Old Wise Man said. "It is the second
rule in Wisdom. You can go back through the second door."

On reaching the other side of the second door, the Prince
perceived in the distance the back side of the first door,
on which he could read:

"ACCEPT THE WORLD".

"Strangely enough", he said to himself, "that I did not see
these words on the first time". He looked all around him and
recognized this world which he had tried to conquer, to
transform, to change. He was struck by the brightness and
the beauty of every thing. By their perfection.

Nevertheless, it was the same world as before. Was it
the world which had changed or the glance he had on it?

He met the Old Wise Man who asked him:

"What have you learnt on your path?"

"I have learnt", the Prince said, that the world is a mirror
for my soul. That my soul can't see the world, it sees itself
in the world. When my soul is cheerful, the world seems cheerful
to it.

When it is overcome, the world seems sad to it. The world
itself is neither sad nor cheerful. It IS there; it exists; it
is everything. It was Not the world that disturbed me, but the
idea that I had of it. I have learnt to accept it without
judging it, to accept it totally, unconditionally. "

"It is 3rd rule of Wisdom", the Old Man said.
"You are here now in agreement with yourself, with the others
and with the World."

A profound feeling of peace, serenity, plenitude, filled
the Prince. Silence was in him.

"Now, you are ready to go past the last Threshold", the
Old Wise Man said, "the one that goes from the silence of
Plenitude to the Plenitude of Silence ".

And the Old Man disappeared.

(Text proposed by Franēoise Laurent)

Desiderata

Desiderata


"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what
peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without
surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to
others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their
story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations
to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may
become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep
interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real
possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world
is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and
everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither
be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantement, it is as perrenial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering
the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you
in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark
imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and
the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not
it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him
to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the
noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still
a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."


"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945).

Success Is Not Bought but Built from the ground Up

"The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better."
- Barbara Pletcher, author

"Life is the sum of all your choices."
- Albert Camus, Author

"I don't think that once you get to one level, you can relax. You've got to keep pushing. "
- Larry Bird, basketball player

"Don't ever be afraid to admit you were wrong. It's like saying you're wiser today than you were yesterday."
- Robert Newell, humorist

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
- John Wooden, basketball coach

"Deal first with whatever is causing you the greatest emotional distress. Often this will break the logjam in your work and free you up mentally to complete (the) other tasks."
- Brian Tracy, motivational coach

"No matter how good an idea sounds, test it first. "
- Henry Bloch, H&R Block co-founder

"To some degree, you control your life by controlling your time. "
- Conrad Hilton, hotel executive

"Every memorable act in the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles."
- Og Mandion

"Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th."
- Julie Andrews, actress

"You can't do it unless you can imagine it."
- George Lucas, director

"Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict."
- William Channing, theologian

"Without courage, all other virtues lose their meaning."
- Winston Churchill, British prime minister

"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail."
- Dorothea Brande, writer

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."
- Lucille Ball, actress

"The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. "
- Hugh White, senator

"Action is the real measure of intelligence."
- Napolean Hill, author

"Problems should be solved on the spot, as soon as they arise. No frontline employee should have to wait for a supervisor's permission."
- Jan Carlzon, airline executive

"You are not beaten until you admit it."
- George Patton, general

"Successful people form the habit of doing what failures don't like to do. They like the results they get by doing what they don't necessarily enjoy. "
- Earl Nightingale, Motivational Speaker

"In a decisive set, confidence is the difference."
- Chris Evert, Tennis Champion

"Mickey Mouse popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad... when the business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at their lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner."
- Walt Disney, producer

"A man watches his pear tree, day after day, impatient for the ripening of the fruit. Let him attempt to force the process, and he may spoil both the fruit and tree. But let him patiently wait, and the ripe pear, at length, falls into his lap."
- Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

"The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake."
- Alan Greenspan, economist

The legend of the Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each
end of a pole which he carried across hls neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was
perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end
of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full 2 years this went on daily, with the bearer
delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's
house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,
perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection,
and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what
it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure,
it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only
half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak
out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws,
you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value
from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his
compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want
you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice
of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the
path and this cheered it some. But at the end of tile trail, it
still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so
again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were
flowers only on YOUR side of your path, but not on the other
pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw,
and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side
of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream,
you've watered them.

For 2 years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers
to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way
you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked
pots.

Some of us don't grow old gracefully, some are not so smart,
some are tall, large & big, some bald, some physically challenged,
but it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives
together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look
for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is
a lot of good in you, Jacques!

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!
Or as I like to think of it - If it's not for the crackpots in my
life, it would be pretty boring.

Thank you for being my crackpot friend, Jacques. :)
-----

Courtesy: my friend Christian Godefroy

P.S.: Can't help being reminded of this Psychologists' joke/ definition of cracked pot: Psycho-ceramic! :o)

Have a great weekend, All you Crackpots!

Your Crackpot Friend,

Jacques

Are You A Workoholic? (Concl.)

Workaholism is remarkably similar to alcoholism in some ways. Just as an alcoholic will hide bottles around the house and drink furtively, for example, workaholics may try to sneak in work when they think no one is looking.

"It's something that I did in the throes of my own work addiction, and when I think about it now it sounds pretty sick," Robinson says. He once hid some work papers in his jeans after his family went through his suitcase looking for his secret stash while packing for a trip to the beach, he tells WebMD.

Other key signs of workaholism are:

Trouble delegating work (workaholics tend to be control freaks and micro-managers)
Neglecting other aspects of one's nonworking life (like the dad who never has time to attend Junior's school play)
Incorporating other aspects of life into work (such as trying to turn a hobby into a new business)

Workaholics: All Work and No Play
A workaholic might seem to be every CEO's dream: an employee who comes in early, stays late, doesn't take vacations, and takes on mountains of work. But those very qualities may make the workaholic a poor candidate for employee of the month because they often have more work than they can handle effectively, don't delegate, aren't team players, and are often more disorganized than their less compulsive colleagues, Robinson says.

In addition, workaholics may refuse to take time off, even when their work performance is affected -- although here cultural expectations and financial realities may come into play.

"People are afraid to take vacations because they're afraid that with all the downsizing and the economy being what it is that they'd be the first to go," Robinson says.

"I train residents at McLean Hospital," Neuhaus says, "and I tell them, 'You have to take vacations. Go away. You're not going to be any good to me if you don't take vacations.'"

Are Workaholics Hurting Their Health?
Like other forms of addiction, workaholism can have significant health consequences, experts say, including significantly higher work-related stress and job burn-out rates, anger, depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic symptoms such as stomachaches and headaches.

Despite the symptoms, workaholics may be in deep denial about their addiction, like a severely emaciated teen with anorexia who looks in the mirror and sees herself as obese.

Montefiore's Rego tells WebMD that workaholics often need prodding from family and friends to seek help when "the seesaw of life is tilted too much toward work."

One highly effective treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of psychotherapy focused on identifying and modifying negative thoughts and thought patterns.

"The workaholic might have a set of beliefs about the value of work which are misguided," Rego says. "And if you can intervene cognitively -- not to correct or get rid of them, but just make them a little more rational -- you might see a change in the behavior and consequent stress reaction."

Robinson helps workaholics develop a self-care plan examining five aspects of their lives: work, relationships, play, self, and spiritual life."This helps them see in black and white where their lives are lacking," Robinson says.

He also helps patients understand that they don't have to go cold turkey or quit their jobs, but find a balance in their lives and identify what's most important to them, whether it's family, friendships, religion, or beliefs.

Workaholics Anonymous, a national support group modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, publishes on its web site a list of questions that can help you determine whether you are a certified workaholic or just unusually diligent. Positive answers to three or more of the questions may signal the need for help. The group hosts meetings around the country where people with similar problems can share ideas anonymously and provide support and solutions that will help them balance their lives.

Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter

Are You a Workaholic?

You might as well face it -- you’re addicted to work. Could your workaholism be hurting you?
By Neil Osterweil
WebMD FeatureReviewed by Louise Chang, MD

On the seventh day, even God rested.

But for workaholics, the day of rest never comes. There is always one more email to read, one more phone call to take, one more critically important trip to the office that can't wait until Monday.

Weekends? Holidays? Family? As the uber-workaholic Ebenezer Scrooge put it, "Bah, humbug!"

"It used to be that I never went on vacation without my laptop and a couple of beepers," says George Giokas, who describes himself as a "reformed" workaholic. When he was starting his company, StaffWriters Plus, in the pre-BlackBerry mid-1990s, Giokas spent more than a few late nights and nearly every Saturday at the office, he tells WebMD.

As he confessed to the online edition of Business Week in 1999, "I've struggled with the weekend issue many times, trying to figure out why I absolutely have to work then. It must be ingrained in me to the point of being a kind of addiction -- like going to the health club every day. If I miss one day, I feel awful."

But Giokas has since learned that the problems that pop up when he's away from the office will still be there when he gets back, and that what happens in the office stays in the office.

"I'm not the sort of person to bring home problems," he says, "and I don't dwell on issues. I get a pretty good night's sleep."

Workaholism: A Life Out of Balance
Not every workaholic, however, is able to achieve the balance that Giokas has found.

Justin Blanton, who practices law in California's Silicon Valley, tells WebMD that he is a workaholic and that the problem has only gotten worse in the four years since he wrote the following on his blog:

"Whether I'm reading a Harry Potter book on my PDA while waiting in the deli line, checking email on my phone as soon as my date makes for the ladies room, or heading back to my computer each commercial break (no TiVo… yet) -- I'm always checking something."

"It's gotten worse in the sense that it hasn't let up at all, and I feel more compelled to be busy," Blanton says today.

In a culture that prizes work ethic, overachievement, and financial success -- where gazillionaires such as Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are household names, and Donald Trump has his own television show -- people who are addicted to working are seen by outsiders as smart, ambitious, and entrepreneurial.

"The system is almost built to reinforce workaholics," says Simon A. Rego, PsyD, associate director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. "Those are the people who end up getting positive job evaluations, get opportunities for promotion, and see themselves getting bonuses or raises. It's almost like the system has a built-in model to give them free hits of what they're addicted to."

Even when out of the office, workaholics can satisfy their cravings with cell phones, PDAs, laptops, and WiFi, which ensure that work need never be out of reach.

But blaming technology for workaholism is like blaming the supermarket for food addiction or the corner liquor store for alcoholism, says Bryan E. Robinson, PhD, author of Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them.

Robinson and other clinicians who treat patients for work-associated stress say that working hard and having easy access to work does not automatically make someone a workaholic.

"It's important to understand the context," says Edmund Neuhaus, PhD, director of the Behavioral Health Partial Hospital Program at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. "If you're working to the exclusion of your family, your marriage, other relationships, and your life is out of balance, or your physical health is out of balance -- when work takes an exclusive priority to everything else, that's the more extreme end of the spectrum where it becomes a problem," Neuhaus tells WebMD.

"The preoccupation with work is really at the core of what workaholism is," says Robinson, professor emeritus at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, and a psychotherapist in private practice in Asheville, N.C. "I always say that the difference between someone who's a true workaholic and someone who's just a hard worker is that the workaholic is on the ski slopes dreaming about being back at work, and the hard worker is in the office dreaming about being on the ski slope."

(Continued in our next post)
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter

WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NOT MY CONCERN...

...and more sayings, quotes and wise cracks about developing a Secure Attitude... ENJOY...Read and Reap! :o)

Your Friend,

Jacques

--------------

"As for worrying about what other people might think - forget it. They aren't concerned about you. They're too busy worrying about what you and other people think of them."
- Michael le Boeuf

"As a rule, men worry more about what they can't see than about what they can."
- Julius Caesar, Roman leader

"'Be at peace with your own soul, then heaven and earth will be at peace with you."
~ Saint Issac of Nineveh

"Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can."
-John Wesley 1703 - 1791

"So the greatest civilization is one where all citizens are equally armed and can only be persuaded, never forced."
-Maj. L. Caudill USMC (Ret.)

"No man or woman...can really be strong, gentle and good, without the world being better for it, without somebody being helped and comforted by the very existence of that goodness."
~ Phillips Brooks

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
—Nelson Mandela

"Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it."
~William Penn

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside inside, awakes."
-Carl Gustav Jung 1875 - 1961

"Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up."
-Chinese proverb

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
- Maya Angelou, poet

"The most important thing is your self-respect. It doesn't matter what people think about you, but what you think about yourself."
- Robert H. Abplanalp

"When someone's character seems impossible to fathom, observe his friends."
-Japanese proverb

"As a rule, men worry more about what they can't see than about what they can."
- Julius Caesar, Roman leader

"When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream; dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts and friction from the world."
- Laura Schlessinger, talk-show host

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
- Paul Boese

"When you affirm big, believe big and pray big, putting faith into action, big things happen."
- Norman Vincent Peale, clergyman

"No matter how small and unimportant what we are doing may seem, if we do it well, it may soon become the step that will lead us to better things."
- Channing Pollock

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
- T.S. Eliot

"Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open."
- Alexander Graham Bell, inventor

"I believe in me more than anything in this world."
- Wilma Rudolph, Olympic runner

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."
- Dorothy Thompson, journalist

So, Is There A Difference?

A young black boy saw a balloon seller on a street corner.
His eyes sparkled as he gazed at all the different colored
balloons - red, blue, white, black, yellow...

The old man selling the balloons saw the boy hesitate, then
gather his courage and approach.

"Tell me mister," said the boy, "Do the black balloons fly
as high as the others?"

The old man felt a tear forming in his eye. He picked the boy
up, sat him on his knee and said, "Look."

He let go of all the balloons. They drifted up in a cluster,
higher and higher into the blue sky, until they were so high
they disappeared.

"Did you see that?" the balloon seller asked.

"Yes," said the boy.

"Did the black balloons fly as high as the others?"

"Yes, Mister, they did."

"You see my boy, the balloons are like people. The important
thing isn't their color, or what they look like on the outside.
No, the important thing is WHAT'S INSIDE.

And what's inside you makes all the difference in life."


Courtesy: Christian Godefroy (club-positif.com)