By Lisa Zamosky, WebMD Feature Reviewed by Louise Chang,MD
Every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas, most of us engage in an annual rite of passage: stuffing ourselves mercilessly with turkey, cranberry sauce, and pie. Not a bad way to spend a Thursday. But inevitably, in that hour between feeling so full you think you'll explode and gearing up for round two with the leftovers, your relatives can find you conked out on the couch.
Along comes Aunt Mildred with her armchair scientific explanation. You're tired, she tells you, because the turkey you just ate is laden with L-tryptophan. Tryptophan, she says, makes you tired.
So is your aunt right? Is the turkey really what's to blame for Thanksgiving sleepiness? The experts helped WebMD sort out the facts.
What is L-Tryptophan?
L-tryptophan is an essential amino acid. The body can't make it, so diet must supply tryptophan. Amino acids are building blocks of proteins. Foods rich in tryptophan include, you guessed it, turkey. Tryptophan is also found in other poultry, meat, cheese, yogurt, fish, and eggs.
Tryptophan is used by the body to make niacin, a B vitamin that is important for digestion, skin and nerves, and serotonin. Serotonin is a brain chemical that plays a large role in mood) and can help to create a feeling of well-being and relaxation. "When levels of serotonin are high, you're in a better mood, sleep better, and have a higher pain tolerance," says Elizabeth Somer, MA, RD, author of numerous nutrition books, including her latest, Eat Your Way to Happiness.
Tryptophan is needed for the body to produce serotonin. Serotonin is used to make melatonin, a hormone that helps to control your sleep and wake cycles.
Turkey the Sleep Inducer?
As it turns out, turkey contains no more of the amino acid tryptophan than other kinds of poultry. In fact, turkey actually has slightly less tryptophan than chicken, says Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, LDN, an American Dietetic Association spokeswoman and author of The Flexitarian Diet.
Jackson Blatner says that if we're sleepy on Thanksgiving as a direct result of eating turkey, then eating other foods rich in tryptophan should have the same effect.
"When is the last time someone ate a chicken breast at a summertime barbecue and thought they felt sluggish [because of it]?" she asks.
Turkey is, indeed, a good source of tryptophan. Still, it's a myth that eating foods high in tryptophan boosts brain levels of tryptophan and therefore brain levels of serotonin, Somer says.
Somer says that proteins like turkey, chicken, and fish, which are high in tryptophan, require assistance from foods high in carbohydrates to affect serotonin levels.
"Tryptophan is quite high in milk and turkey, but that's not the food that will give you the serotonin boost," she says. It's a small, all-carbohydrate snack --no more than 30 grams of carbohydrates -- in combination with the tryptophan stored in your body from food you've already eaten that will give you the biggest boost of serotonin, Somer says.
A serotonin-boosting snack may include a few Fig Newtons, half of a small whole wheat bagel with honey drizzled over it, or a few cups of air-popped popcorn some time after you've eaten foods high in tryptophan. "Research shows that a light, 30 gram carbohydrate snack just before bed will actually help you sleep better," Somer says.
Amino Acid Overload
When you eat foods rich in tryptophan, as the food digests, amino acids - not just tryptophan - make their way into the bloodstream. This causes competition among the various amino acids to enter the brain.
"Tryptophan, which is a bulky amino acid, would have to stand in line to get through the blood-brain barrier with a whole bunch of amino acids," Somer says. "It would be like standing in line when the Harry Potter movie comes out and you didn't get in line early enough. The chances of getting in [to see the movie] are pretty slim. That's what happens when you eat a protein-rich food. Tryptophan has to compete with all these other amino acids. It waits in line to get through the blood-brain barrier and very little of it makes it across."
The small, all-carbohydrate snack is tryptophan's ticket across the blood-brain barrier, where it can boost serotonin levels. So have your turkey, Somer says, because it will increase your store of tryptophan in the body, but count on the carbohydrates to help give you the mood boost or the restful sleep.
"It's the all-carb snack that ends up being like a sneak preview of the [Harry Potter] movie, where no one else knows it's showing," she says.
Too Much of a Sleepy Thing
Is it possible to have too much tryptophan in the body? Not really, Somer says. "Except if you end up eating a lot of tryptophan, it means you're eating a lot of protein and Americans already eat a lot of protein. It's the only nutrient we get too much of," she says.
"If you're getting even one serving of 3 ounces of meat, chicken, or fish; a couple of glasses of milk or yogurt; or if you're eating beans and rice, you will get all the amino acids you need and in there will be the tryptophan," Somer says.
Thanksgiving Grogginess: Look Beyond the Turkey
So if eating turkey isn't exactly the same as popping a sleeping pill, why the sudden grogginess as soon as our holiday feast is over?
"It boils down to Thanksgiving being a time when people overeat," Jackson Blatner says. "When people overeat food, the digestion process takes a lot of energy. Don't incriminate the turkey that you ate," she says of post-Thanksgiving meal exhaustion, "incriminate the three plates of food that you piled high."
And let's not forget that the holidays generally mean time off from work and with family. Many people feel more relaxed to begin with (family wars not withstanding). Add alcohol to the mix, and voila! Sleep!
Speaking of sleep, Joyce Walsleban, PhD, associate professor at New York University's Sleep Disorders Center, suggests we all get plenty of it. "Coming up on the holidays and trying to get all the things done that one would normally be doing, you short cut your sleep and that's never helpful. By the time the holiday comes, everyone has gotten sick."
At least then you'll have a good excuse to lay down and take a nap.
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Can Money Buy Happiness?
Dear Friends,
No, I did not forget you (since I did not post my sincere wishes for you to have a festive Thanksgiving yesterday)! I wasn't near a computer, so believe that I sent you my strongest mental greetings :o)
Meanwhile, since the "Holidays" are being thrust upon us from all sides to help our ailing Economy (reinforced by this morning's "Black Friday" call to the bargains, with some stores opening up at 3:00 A.M.!)---I wanted to share this fascinating article with you.
Enjoy and Get Happy! LOL
Jacques
_____
Money and happiness: 5 ways your spending style matters.By Katherine Kam WebMD Feature Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD
“Money can’t buy me love,” the Beatles once sang. But can greenbacks buy a measure of happiness? Yes, psychologists say, but many people don’t know how to spend for maximum happiness.
“Money is an opportunity for happiness, but it is an opportunity that people routinely squander because the things they think will make them happy often don’t,” says Elizabeth W. Dunn, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Canada's University of British Columbia.
As a young academic, Dunn had a personal stake in figuring out how to best spend one’s money. “I went from being a graduate student, making around $20,000 a year, to being a faculty member. While most people don’t think of professors as being wealthy, I suddenly found myself like ‘the nouveau riche,’ with a lot more money than I had previously,” she tells WebMD.
Being a psychology researcher, she sought scientifically based advice on how to spend her money -- not in terms of making financial investments, but to boost life satisfaction. “I was surprised to find out there was actually very little research on that topic,” she says.
As she delved into the subject, she discovered that people often misjudge purchases on three counts: “People mispredict what will make them happy, how happy it will make them, and how long that happiness will last.”
Puddles of Pleasure, Peaks of Presumption
Other experts agree with Dunn’s view. Purchases, such as a remodeled bathroom or a new couch, may bestow delight, but the pleasure often vanishes faster than people expect -- “like a springtime puddle evaporates under a stifling summer sun,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, and author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.
Take that remodeled bathroom, for example. At first, it’s a joy, but those positive feelings dwindle until the bathroom becomes ordinary and “completely fades into the background of one’s conscious experience," Lyubomirsky says.
Furthermore, all those sparkling, new bath fixtures may heighten expectations and desires, creating a “lofty peak of presumption” that drives people to become dissatisfied and strive for more and more, Lyubomirsky says. “After one finishes remodeling one’s bathroom, the living room and bedroom now seem drab by comparison. People’s rising aspirations render rooms eyesores that were previously normal.”
"Now, no one is saying that money and spending play a negligible role in happiness. In fact, wealthy people have better nutrition and medical care, more meaningful work, and extra free time", Dunn says.
“And yet, they aren’t that much happier than those who have less,” she writes with co-authors Daniel T. Gilbert and Timothy D. Wilson in an article to be published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology. The article’s title: “If Money Doesn’t Make You Happy, Then You Probably Aren’t Spending It Right.”
So how can you spend your money to maximize happiness? Try these tips, experts say.
Tip 1: Buy experiences instead of things.
Many people assume that filling a large house with possessions will make them happiest. So why might a cooking class or vacation getaway trump a new kitchen floor or TV?
In one recent study, Cornell University researchers found that purchasing an experience tended to improve well-being more than buying a possession, in part because people are more prone to comparisons and buyer’s remorse with material goods.
Also, objects tend to deteriorate with time, but experiences can create lasting memories. If you share lessons or dinners and vacations with others, the social connections can make you happier, too, experts say.
“Experiences are just easier to appreciate,” says Lyubomirsky, who didn't work on the Cornell study. “We are made happier by experiences. You’re more likely to recall it. It’s more likely to become part of your identity. You’re the sum of your experiences, not the sum of your possessions.”
People adapt faster to things that don’t change, such as material objects, Dunn says. But experiences offer more novelty and variety, which can extend enjoyment.
“Whereas cherry floorboards generally have the same size, shape, and color on the last day of the year as they did on the first,” Dunn says, “each session of a year-long cooking class is different from the one before.”
Tip 2: Consider that many small pleasures might be better than a few big ones.
Are you more likely to be happier if you save up for a few big-ticket items, such as a sports car, or if you indulge frequently in small things, such as lattes and manicures?
Saving up for a big purchase may be admirable. But in terms of happiness, “We may be better off devoting our finite financial resources to purchasing frequent doses of lovely things, rather than infrequent doses of lovelier things,” Dunn says. Research shows that happiness is more closely aligned with the frequency of pleasures, as opposed to the intensity, according to her.
"Since frequent, small pleasures tend to be different every time -- whether it’s a beer with friends or a new book -- we don’t adapt to them and become bored as quickly", Dunn says.
Tip 3: Spend on others and not yourself.
Some research suggests that it really is better to give.
A few years ago, Dunn did an experiment in which researchers fanned out across the University of British Columbia campus and handed students a $5 or $20 bill. The students were randomly assigned to spend the cash on themselves or others by the end of the day.
In the evening, those who had been told to spend on others reported feeling happier -- even if they spent only $5 -- than those assigned to buy for themselves.
The emotional rewards of social spending can even be detected on MRI brain scans. In a University of Oregon study, people were given a chance to donate money to a food bank. Others were forced to give to the food bank through a tax-like transfer. Volunteering the money activated brain areas typically associated with receiving rewards, but so did the mandatory giving.
As highly social creatures, much of our happiness hinges on the quality of our relationships, Dunn says. “Almost anything we do to improve our connections with others tends to improve our happiness as well, and that includes spending money.”
So the next time you buy a cookie, treat your pal, too.
Tip 4: Rent a dose of happiness.
In these lean times, it’s smart to be frugal. You can still enjoy something without having to own it, Lyubomirsky says, whether it’s a video, cabin hideaway, or a sports car.
If you love the thrill of driving a luxury car, rent one occasionally, she says. You’ll get the boost of pleasure, but not the hassles of changing the oil and tires or the burden of paying unpredictable repair costs.
Tip 5: When you buy, think about what you’re not thinking about.
Often, people make purchases the way some lovers enter a hasty marriage -- in a rosy glow of imagination, with little realistic thought of the beloved’s shortcomings.
So people who want to buy a lakeside cabin will focus on the peace and quiet, gorgeous sunsets, and good fishing, Dunn says. What they don't consider: buzzing insects, late-night calls about plumbing disasters, and endless drives home after a weekend at the cabin, with tired and cranky children scratching mosquito bites. And yet, such things will affect the owners’ happiness.
It’s a common pitfall. We simply don’t see the future in fine detail, and the further away the event lies in time, the more abstract our imaginings, Dunn says.
So before buying something major, try to consider the less obvious cost, including how a purchase might affect your time. “Happiness is often in the details," Dunn says.
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter
No, I did not forget you (since I did not post my sincere wishes for you to have a festive Thanksgiving yesterday)! I wasn't near a computer, so believe that I sent you my strongest mental greetings :o)
Meanwhile, since the "Holidays" are being thrust upon us from all sides to help our ailing Economy (reinforced by this morning's "Black Friday" call to the bargains, with some stores opening up at 3:00 A.M.!)---I wanted to share this fascinating article with you.
Enjoy and Get Happy! LOL
Jacques
_____
Money and happiness: 5 ways your spending style matters.By Katherine Kam WebMD Feature Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD
“Money can’t buy me love,” the Beatles once sang. But can greenbacks buy a measure of happiness? Yes, psychologists say, but many people don’t know how to spend for maximum happiness.
“Money is an opportunity for happiness, but it is an opportunity that people routinely squander because the things they think will make them happy often don’t,” says Elizabeth W. Dunn, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Canada's University of British Columbia.
As a young academic, Dunn had a personal stake in figuring out how to best spend one’s money. “I went from being a graduate student, making around $20,000 a year, to being a faculty member. While most people don’t think of professors as being wealthy, I suddenly found myself like ‘the nouveau riche,’ with a lot more money than I had previously,” she tells WebMD.
Being a psychology researcher, she sought scientifically based advice on how to spend her money -- not in terms of making financial investments, but to boost life satisfaction. “I was surprised to find out there was actually very little research on that topic,” she says.
As she delved into the subject, she discovered that people often misjudge purchases on three counts: “People mispredict what will make them happy, how happy it will make them, and how long that happiness will last.”
Puddles of Pleasure, Peaks of Presumption
Other experts agree with Dunn’s view. Purchases, such as a remodeled bathroom or a new couch, may bestow delight, but the pleasure often vanishes faster than people expect -- “like a springtime puddle evaporates under a stifling summer sun,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, and author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.
Take that remodeled bathroom, for example. At first, it’s a joy, but those positive feelings dwindle until the bathroom becomes ordinary and “completely fades into the background of one’s conscious experience," Lyubomirsky says.
Furthermore, all those sparkling, new bath fixtures may heighten expectations and desires, creating a “lofty peak of presumption” that drives people to become dissatisfied and strive for more and more, Lyubomirsky says. “After one finishes remodeling one’s bathroom, the living room and bedroom now seem drab by comparison. People’s rising aspirations render rooms eyesores that were previously normal.”
"Now, no one is saying that money and spending play a negligible role in happiness. In fact, wealthy people have better nutrition and medical care, more meaningful work, and extra free time", Dunn says.
“And yet, they aren’t that much happier than those who have less,” she writes with co-authors Daniel T. Gilbert and Timothy D. Wilson in an article to be published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology. The article’s title: “If Money Doesn’t Make You Happy, Then You Probably Aren’t Spending It Right.”
So how can you spend your money to maximize happiness? Try these tips, experts say.
Tip 1: Buy experiences instead of things.
Many people assume that filling a large house with possessions will make them happiest. So why might a cooking class or vacation getaway trump a new kitchen floor or TV?
In one recent study, Cornell University researchers found that purchasing an experience tended to improve well-being more than buying a possession, in part because people are more prone to comparisons and buyer’s remorse with material goods.
Also, objects tend to deteriorate with time, but experiences can create lasting memories. If you share lessons or dinners and vacations with others, the social connections can make you happier, too, experts say.
“Experiences are just easier to appreciate,” says Lyubomirsky, who didn't work on the Cornell study. “We are made happier by experiences. You’re more likely to recall it. It’s more likely to become part of your identity. You’re the sum of your experiences, not the sum of your possessions.”
People adapt faster to things that don’t change, such as material objects, Dunn says. But experiences offer more novelty and variety, which can extend enjoyment.
“Whereas cherry floorboards generally have the same size, shape, and color on the last day of the year as they did on the first,” Dunn says, “each session of a year-long cooking class is different from the one before.”
Tip 2: Consider that many small pleasures might be better than a few big ones.
Are you more likely to be happier if you save up for a few big-ticket items, such as a sports car, or if you indulge frequently in small things, such as lattes and manicures?
Saving up for a big purchase may be admirable. But in terms of happiness, “We may be better off devoting our finite financial resources to purchasing frequent doses of lovely things, rather than infrequent doses of lovelier things,” Dunn says. Research shows that happiness is more closely aligned with the frequency of pleasures, as opposed to the intensity, according to her.
"Since frequent, small pleasures tend to be different every time -- whether it’s a beer with friends or a new book -- we don’t adapt to them and become bored as quickly", Dunn says.
Tip 3: Spend on others and not yourself.
Some research suggests that it really is better to give.
A few years ago, Dunn did an experiment in which researchers fanned out across the University of British Columbia campus and handed students a $5 or $20 bill. The students were randomly assigned to spend the cash on themselves or others by the end of the day.
In the evening, those who had been told to spend on others reported feeling happier -- even if they spent only $5 -- than those assigned to buy for themselves.
The emotional rewards of social spending can even be detected on MRI brain scans. In a University of Oregon study, people were given a chance to donate money to a food bank. Others were forced to give to the food bank through a tax-like transfer. Volunteering the money activated brain areas typically associated with receiving rewards, but so did the mandatory giving.
As highly social creatures, much of our happiness hinges on the quality of our relationships, Dunn says. “Almost anything we do to improve our connections with others tends to improve our happiness as well, and that includes spending money.”
So the next time you buy a cookie, treat your pal, too.
Tip 4: Rent a dose of happiness.
In these lean times, it’s smart to be frugal. You can still enjoy something without having to own it, Lyubomirsky says, whether it’s a video, cabin hideaway, or a sports car.
If you love the thrill of driving a luxury car, rent one occasionally, she says. You’ll get the boost of pleasure, but not the hassles of changing the oil and tires or the burden of paying unpredictable repair costs.
Tip 5: When you buy, think about what you’re not thinking about.
Often, people make purchases the way some lovers enter a hasty marriage -- in a rosy glow of imagination, with little realistic thought of the beloved’s shortcomings.
So people who want to buy a lakeside cabin will focus on the peace and quiet, gorgeous sunsets, and good fishing, Dunn says. What they don't consider: buzzing insects, late-night calls about plumbing disasters, and endless drives home after a weekend at the cabin, with tired and cranky children scratching mosquito bites. And yet, such things will affect the owners’ happiness.
It’s a common pitfall. We simply don’t see the future in fine detail, and the further away the event lies in time, the more abstract our imaginings, Dunn says.
So before buying something major, try to consider the less obvious cost, including how a purchase might affect your time. “Happiness is often in the details," Dunn says.
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter
Monday, October 4, 2010
Mystery of the roast pork
It has been said that "imitation is the highest form of flattery".
And it is in that spirit that I share with you one of many illustrative stories I told to my vast audiences during my years as a public speaker and seminar leader.
As is the case when a story is passed on from one person to another, this one has been somewhat changed. Nevertheless, its "punch line" of wisdom hasn't. So, ENJOY my Friend Christian Godefroy's version and comments!
Jacques
-----
As Jane serves "roast pork" for dinner, John comments on how "delicious" it looks but has been wondering for a long time why Jane cuts off both ends of the pork, so he asks her.
"Well dear" replies Jane, "I have always watched my mother do it when I was growing up and therefore cannot answer why this has to be done, however I shall ask her why when I speak with her next"
Later that evening Jane calls her mother to ask. After a short silent pause, the mother replies "Well dear, I have always watched your grandmother prepare the roast pork this way, therefore maybe you should ask her"
By this time curiosity has got the better of Jane and she calls her grandmother almost immediately.... "Grandma, why do you cut off both ends of the roast pork when preparing it" ask Jane. "is this to make it taste better?" Her Grandma replies "well Jane, as far as I can remember the reason I done that was because I could not fit the pork into my roasting pan otherwise and was too poor to afford buying a larger one."
The moral of the story is that we as a society seem to do things almost instinctively or automa-tically without knowing the actual real historical reason behind them. For example... everyone has that voice within which tells you things such as "be perfect" "hurry up" "make an effort" "please me" and "be strong".
According to the school of "Transactional Analysis" we always seem to associate such messages from our childhood days and therefore the "drivers" coming from our parents and ancestors both influence and orient our actions throughout our lives and as if it has been "thrust" into the values we all hold as "a highest priority" influence directly to these orders.
But who for example, is capable of always doing everything perfectly? No one is! So statements such as "be perfect" is therefore a message which is terribly constraining on the human mind. It creates strong internal tension in both us as individuals and society as a whole. This in turn affects the way we communicate towards each other.
And it is in that spirit that I share with you one of many illustrative stories I told to my vast audiences during my years as a public speaker and seminar leader.
As is the case when a story is passed on from one person to another, this one has been somewhat changed. Nevertheless, its "punch line" of wisdom hasn't. So, ENJOY my Friend Christian Godefroy's version and comments!
Jacques
-----
As Jane serves "roast pork" for dinner, John comments on how "delicious" it looks but has been wondering for a long time why Jane cuts off both ends of the pork, so he asks her.
"Well dear" replies Jane, "I have always watched my mother do it when I was growing up and therefore cannot answer why this has to be done, however I shall ask her why when I speak with her next"
Later that evening Jane calls her mother to ask. After a short silent pause, the mother replies "Well dear, I have always watched your grandmother prepare the roast pork this way, therefore maybe you should ask her"
By this time curiosity has got the better of Jane and she calls her grandmother almost immediately.... "Grandma, why do you cut off both ends of the roast pork when preparing it" ask Jane. "is this to make it taste better?" Her Grandma replies "well Jane, as far as I can remember the reason I done that was because I could not fit the pork into my roasting pan otherwise and was too poor to afford buying a larger one."
The moral of the story is that we as a society seem to do things almost instinctively or automa-tically without knowing the actual real historical reason behind them. For example... everyone has that voice within which tells you things such as "be perfect" "hurry up" "make an effort" "please me" and "be strong".
According to the school of "Transactional Analysis" we always seem to associate such messages from our childhood days and therefore the "drivers" coming from our parents and ancestors both influence and orient our actions throughout our lives and as if it has been "thrust" into the values we all hold as "a highest priority" influence directly to these orders.
But who for example, is capable of always doing everything perfectly? No one is! So statements such as "be perfect" is therefore a message which is terribly constraining on the human mind. It creates strong internal tension in both us as individuals and society as a whole. This in turn affects the way we communicate towards each other.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
THIS IS GOOD! :o)
The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"
To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.
"You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "This is good!"
"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."
Situations may not always seem pleasant while we experience them, but it depends on the way you see them... the choice is yours!
Your "This is good" friend,
Jacques
Courtesy: my "This Is Good!" friend Christian Godefroy
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"
To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.
"You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "This is good!"
"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."
Situations may not always seem pleasant while we experience them, but it depends on the way you see them... the choice is yours!
Your "This is good" friend,
Jacques
Courtesy: my "This Is Good!" friend Christian Godefroy
Monday, September 20, 2010
A Test of Friendship
A Friend...
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust to "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
OK: This Is A Test To See How Many Friends You Have!!! Pass It On To Everyone You Consider A Friend Or Would Like To Have As A Friend. See How Many Times You Get It Back!
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust to "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
OK: This Is A Test To See How Many Friends You Have!!! Pass It On To Everyone You Consider A Friend Or Would Like To Have As A Friend. See How Many Times You Get It Back!
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy
Monday, September 6, 2010
Funny quotes on marriage and life
"Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was
not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever
seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.. "
- Mark Twain
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a
good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible"
- George Burns
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year."
- Victor Borge
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
- Mark Twain
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become
happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
- Groucho Marx
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and
then she stops to breathe."
- Jimmy Durante
"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential
food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
- Alex Levine
"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop
dying."
- Rodney Dangerfield
"Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery."
- Spike Milligan
"Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP."
- Joe Namath
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's
time for my nap."
- Bob Hope
"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish
do in it.."
- W. C. Fields
"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work
its way through Congress."
- Will Rogers
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it
will avoid you."
- Winston Churchill
"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else
starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.."
- Phyllis Diller
"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old
to go anywhere."
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet - "If it tastes good spit it out."
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was
not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever
seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.. "
- Mark Twain
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a
good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible"
- George Burns
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year."
- Victor Borge
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
- Mark Twain
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become
happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
- Groucho Marx
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and
then she stops to breathe."
- Jimmy Durante
"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential
food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
- Alex Levine
"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop
dying."
- Rodney Dangerfield
"Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery."
- Spike Milligan
"Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP."
- Joe Namath
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's
time for my nap."
- Bob Hope
"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish
do in it.."
- W. C. Fields
"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work
its way through Congress."
- Will Rogers
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it
will avoid you."
- Winston Churchill
"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else
starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.."
- Phyllis Diller
"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old
to go anywhere."
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet - "If it tastes good spit it out."
Saturday, September 4, 2010
5 Powerful Ways to Beat Stress!
By Dr. Stephen Sinatra - a cardiologist with an integrative approach to health and healing.
Dr. Sinatra is also the author of the monthly newsletter Heart, Health & Nutrition, which includes his best advice on heart health, diet and nutrition, exercise, and much more.
Connect with me on
Facebook or Twitter
Dear Friend,
I’ve always had mixed feelings about Labor Day. It’s the “unofficial” end of summer, with pools closing, shorter days, and a return to the busy season. While there’s comfort in going back to more structured days—not to mention the cool, crisp days and beautiful fall foliage here in New England—it’s also the start of what can be a very stressful time for many people.
Not only do we have the stress of more time pressures, and impending holidays just around the corner, the change of season is also a stressful time for your immune system. So, I thought now would be a good time to give you a few stress-busting tips for fall.
1) Fortify Your Body with “Anti-Stress” Vitamins.
B vitamins are often called the “stress vitamins” because they’re quickly depleted from your body during times of stress. That’s because your body needs B vitamins to create the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin, to boost your immune system, to give you energy, and more.
As a cardiologist, this greatly concerns me, because a deficit of B vitamins can put you on the road to a heart attack. Your body requires niacin (B3) to keep your good HDL cholesterol up, and vitamins B6, B12, and folic acid are essential to neutralize homocysteine, a widely-recognized risk factor for cardiovascular disease.
I recommend taking 250 mg of niacin three times daily and slowly working up to 1-2 grams daily in divided doses (many people notice flushing as they start taking niacin, so don’t be alarmed). I also recommend taking vitamin B6, 40 mg daily; vitamin B12, 500 mcg daily; and folic acid, 200–400 mcg daily.
2) Boost Your Immune System with Vitamin D.
I’ve been writing about the health benefits of the “Big D” for years, long before it became the subject of numerous new studies. At this time of the year especially, I highly recommend supplementing with vitamin D. That’s because beginning in the fall and continuing through winter we get less sunlight, so our bodies manufacture less vitamin D. Plus, the change of season is stressful on your immune system, and your body counts on vitamin D to keep your immunity strong.
Vitamin D works by increasing the activity of your natural killer and T-cells supporting your immune system. In research, people with higher levels of vitamin D were less likely to have poor immune health. There’s also a distinct relationship between vitamin D and the health of your cells. Plus, vitamin D promotes bone health, heart health, normal blood pressure, healthy joints, colon health, and normal blood sugar. It also plays a critical role in brain function.
I recommend taking 2,000 to 4,000 IU of vitamin D3 a day if you’re healthy, and 5,000 to 10,000 IU a day if your immune system is compromised with a chronic illness, or if you have an illness of uncertain cause like fibromyalgia. The best way to get that is through a good vitamin D supplement, and eating foods like vitamin D-fortified milk, salmon, and tuna.
3) Diffuse Your Stress with Exercise.
One of the best antidotes for stress is physical activity. Exercise not only works the stress out of your muscles, it also stimulates your body’s creation of feel-good endorphins. So, grab your walking shoes and take advantage of the crisp fall air to take a brisk walk. If you can, wear leather-soled shoes like moccasins because they help to ground you to the Earth which helps to improve your mood and mental state.
A mile of walking—at any speed—burns as many calories as a mile of running, and I’ve rarely heard of people injuring muscles, ligaments, or joints while walking. I recommend walking every day for a minimum of 20 minutes. Better still, walk for 20 minutes twice a day. If you become bored with that routine, get creative. Go to a park or try hiking through the woods. Or try an activity that incorporates a lot of walking. For example, I’m an avid fly fisherman, and I frequently must walk up and down river banks and through fields to be where the fish are.
4) Look at the Glass as Half Full.
Research has found that optimists are not only happier, they’re also healthier, live longer, and recover from illnesses better than those with less cheery outlooks. Optimists interpret events in a way that gives them hope to keep on trying. Pessimists look at an event with a negative slant.
One way to start each day on the right foot is to think about what you are grateful for. However, don’t just rattle off a list. Really take the time to contemplate your feelings about each thing and internalize how each positive feature makes your life better.
Also, as you encounter frustrations during the course of your day, try to put a positive spin on them, also known as “reframing,” to encourage an optimistic perspective. For example, if you don’t feel like going to work, be thankful that at least you have a job during this time when 10% of Americans don’t have that luxury. If you failed at a task the day before, be grateful if you have the chance to try again. If a relative has irritated you, remember good times you have had together. Reminding yourself of what you are grateful for will promote optimism and hope, even if your life has been difficult lately. You’ll feel serene as opposed to agitated and depressed.
5) Breathe! Proper breathing is one way to reduce stress.
When you find yourself under stress, focus on your breathing. The act of observing your breathing will cause feeling, rather than thought, to take over. Intense feeling activates healing mechanisms.
So, the next time you feel stressed take a deep breath and sigh deeply. Make noise as you exhale. Do this several times, as loud as you can. After several breaths, you should be aware of how much more you need to breathe and how much relief it offers you. If you continue this, you may find that you release strong emotions–sadness, fright, or a sudden desire to cry or burst out laughing. Releasing these feelings will help bring on a feeling of serenity. If they come up, just go with them.
Here’s to an enjoyable, stress-free holiday weekend!
Stephen Sinatra, M.D., F.A.C.C.,
_____
And now, few related quotes from Jacques:
"I really do think that any deep crisis is an opportunity to make your life extraordinary in some way."
- Martha Beck, Author
"When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter five years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go."
- Catherine Pulsifer, writer
Dr. Sinatra is also the author of the monthly newsletter Heart, Health & Nutrition, which includes his best advice on heart health, diet and nutrition, exercise, and much more.
Connect with me on
Facebook or Twitter
Dear Friend,
I’ve always had mixed feelings about Labor Day. It’s the “unofficial” end of summer, with pools closing, shorter days, and a return to the busy season. While there’s comfort in going back to more structured days—not to mention the cool, crisp days and beautiful fall foliage here in New England—it’s also the start of what can be a very stressful time for many people.
Not only do we have the stress of more time pressures, and impending holidays just around the corner, the change of season is also a stressful time for your immune system. So, I thought now would be a good time to give you a few stress-busting tips for fall.
1) Fortify Your Body with “Anti-Stress” Vitamins.
B vitamins are often called the “stress vitamins” because they’re quickly depleted from your body during times of stress. That’s because your body needs B vitamins to create the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin, to boost your immune system, to give you energy, and more.
As a cardiologist, this greatly concerns me, because a deficit of B vitamins can put you on the road to a heart attack. Your body requires niacin (B3) to keep your good HDL cholesterol up, and vitamins B6, B12, and folic acid are essential to neutralize homocysteine, a widely-recognized risk factor for cardiovascular disease.
I recommend taking 250 mg of niacin three times daily and slowly working up to 1-2 grams daily in divided doses (many people notice flushing as they start taking niacin, so don’t be alarmed). I also recommend taking vitamin B6, 40 mg daily; vitamin B12, 500 mcg daily; and folic acid, 200–400 mcg daily.
2) Boost Your Immune System with Vitamin D.
I’ve been writing about the health benefits of the “Big D” for years, long before it became the subject of numerous new studies. At this time of the year especially, I highly recommend supplementing with vitamin D. That’s because beginning in the fall and continuing through winter we get less sunlight, so our bodies manufacture less vitamin D. Plus, the change of season is stressful on your immune system, and your body counts on vitamin D to keep your immunity strong.
Vitamin D works by increasing the activity of your natural killer and T-cells supporting your immune system. In research, people with higher levels of vitamin D were less likely to have poor immune health. There’s also a distinct relationship between vitamin D and the health of your cells. Plus, vitamin D promotes bone health, heart health, normal blood pressure, healthy joints, colon health, and normal blood sugar. It also plays a critical role in brain function.
I recommend taking 2,000 to 4,000 IU of vitamin D3 a day if you’re healthy, and 5,000 to 10,000 IU a day if your immune system is compromised with a chronic illness, or if you have an illness of uncertain cause like fibromyalgia. The best way to get that is through a good vitamin D supplement, and eating foods like vitamin D-fortified milk, salmon, and tuna.
3) Diffuse Your Stress with Exercise.
One of the best antidotes for stress is physical activity. Exercise not only works the stress out of your muscles, it also stimulates your body’s creation of feel-good endorphins. So, grab your walking shoes and take advantage of the crisp fall air to take a brisk walk. If you can, wear leather-soled shoes like moccasins because they help to ground you to the Earth which helps to improve your mood and mental state.
A mile of walking—at any speed—burns as many calories as a mile of running, and I’ve rarely heard of people injuring muscles, ligaments, or joints while walking. I recommend walking every day for a minimum of 20 minutes. Better still, walk for 20 minutes twice a day. If you become bored with that routine, get creative. Go to a park or try hiking through the woods. Or try an activity that incorporates a lot of walking. For example, I’m an avid fly fisherman, and I frequently must walk up and down river banks and through fields to be where the fish are.
4) Look at the Glass as Half Full.
Research has found that optimists are not only happier, they’re also healthier, live longer, and recover from illnesses better than those with less cheery outlooks. Optimists interpret events in a way that gives them hope to keep on trying. Pessimists look at an event with a negative slant.
One way to start each day on the right foot is to think about what you are grateful for. However, don’t just rattle off a list. Really take the time to contemplate your feelings about each thing and internalize how each positive feature makes your life better.
Also, as you encounter frustrations during the course of your day, try to put a positive spin on them, also known as “reframing,” to encourage an optimistic perspective. For example, if you don’t feel like going to work, be thankful that at least you have a job during this time when 10% of Americans don’t have that luxury. If you failed at a task the day before, be grateful if you have the chance to try again. If a relative has irritated you, remember good times you have had together. Reminding yourself of what you are grateful for will promote optimism and hope, even if your life has been difficult lately. You’ll feel serene as opposed to agitated and depressed.
5) Breathe! Proper breathing is one way to reduce stress.
When you find yourself under stress, focus on your breathing. The act of observing your breathing will cause feeling, rather than thought, to take over. Intense feeling activates healing mechanisms.
So, the next time you feel stressed take a deep breath and sigh deeply. Make noise as you exhale. Do this several times, as loud as you can. After several breaths, you should be aware of how much more you need to breathe and how much relief it offers you. If you continue this, you may find that you release strong emotions–sadness, fright, or a sudden desire to cry or burst out laughing. Releasing these feelings will help bring on a feeling of serenity. If they come up, just go with them.
Here’s to an enjoyable, stress-free holiday weekend!
Stephen Sinatra, M.D., F.A.C.C.,
_____
And now, few related quotes from Jacques:
"I really do think that any deep crisis is an opportunity to make your life extraordinary in some way."
- Martha Beck, Author
"When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter five years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go."
- Catherine Pulsifer, writer
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Rules for being human
"My father taught me that reputation, not money, was the most important thing in the world."
- William Rosenberg, Dunkin Donuts founder
-----
You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it
will be yours for the entire period this time around.
You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full time
information school called Life. Each day in this school you will
have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons
or think them irrelevant or stupid.
There are no mistakes, only lessons. The "failed" experiments
are as much a part of the process as the experiment that "works."
A lesson is repeated until learned. It will be presented in
various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the
next lesson.
Learning lessons DOES NOT END.
"There" is no better than "here." When your "there" has become
"here," you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again,
look better than "here."
Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate
something about another person unless it reflects to you something
that you love or hate in yourself.
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools
and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The
choice IS yours.
Your answers lie WITHIN YOU. The answers to life's questions
lie INSIDE YOU. All you need to do is listen, look and trust.
You WILL forget this!
Courtesy: Christiam Godefroy
- William Rosenberg, Dunkin Donuts founder
-----
You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it
will be yours for the entire period this time around.
You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full time
information school called Life. Each day in this school you will
have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons
or think them irrelevant or stupid.
There are no mistakes, only lessons. The "failed" experiments
are as much a part of the process as the experiment that "works."
A lesson is repeated until learned. It will be presented in
various forms until you have learned it. Then you can go on to the
next lesson.
Learning lessons DOES NOT END.
"There" is no better than "here." When your "there" has become
"here," you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again,
look better than "here."
Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate
something about another person unless it reflects to you something
that you love or hate in yourself.
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools
and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The
choice IS yours.
Your answers lie WITHIN YOU. The answers to life's questions
lie INSIDE YOU. All you need to do is listen, look and trust.
You WILL forget this!
Courtesy: Christiam Godefroy
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Effective Communication is a Two-Way street...
"Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life."
- Brian Tracy, Author
- Brian Tracy, Author
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Procrastination Killer – A Guide to Simplicity
Everyone procrastinates. We put things off because we don’t want to do them, or because we have too many other things on our plates. Putting things off—big or small—is part of being human.
If you are reading this handout, however, it is likely that your procrastination is troubling you. You suspect that you could be a much better writer if only you didn’t put off writing projects until the last minute. You find that just when you have really gotten going on a paper, it’s time to turn it in; so, you never really have time to revise or proofread carefully. You love the rush of adrenalin you get when you finish a paper ten minutes before it’s due, but you (and your body) are getting tired of pulling all-nighters. You feel okay about procrastinating while in college, but you worry that this habit will follow you into your working life.
Procrastination Killer
You can tell whether or not you need to do something about your procrastination by examining its consequences. Procrastination can have external consequences (you get a zero on the paper because you never turned it in) or internal consequences (you feel anxious much of the time, even when you are doing something that you enjoy). If you put off washing the dishes, but the dishes don’t bother you, who cares? When your procrastination leaves you feeling discouraged and overburdened, however, it is time to take action.
For those of you who want to eliminate procrastination, here are 10 simple steps:
1. First make sure you really, really, really want to do it. Seriously – don’t skip this step.
2. Keep things simple – don’t mess with tools, formatting, anything, just start.
3. Make it the first thing you do today, before checking email or anything else.
4. Clear away everything that stands in the way of doing. Including turning off the Internet.
5. Just get started. Overcome the initial barrier by diving in.
6. Tell yourself you’re just going to do 10 minutes.
7. Put something you dread more at the top of your to-do list — you’ll put off doing that by doing the other things on your list.
8. Find something about it that excites you.
9. Forget about perfection. Just start doing it, and fix it later.
10. If you keep procrastinating, re-evaluate whether you really want to do it. Consider not doing it, or putting it on the backburner.
If all else fails, just take a nap or go outside and enjoy the outdoors or do nothing. Life isn’t all about productivity.
If you are reading this handout, however, it is likely that your procrastination is troubling you. You suspect that you could be a much better writer if only you didn’t put off writing projects until the last minute. You find that just when you have really gotten going on a paper, it’s time to turn it in; so, you never really have time to revise or proofread carefully. You love the rush of adrenalin you get when you finish a paper ten minutes before it’s due, but you (and your body) are getting tired of pulling all-nighters. You feel okay about procrastinating while in college, but you worry that this habit will follow you into your working life.
Procrastination Killer
You can tell whether or not you need to do something about your procrastination by examining its consequences. Procrastination can have external consequences (you get a zero on the paper because you never turned it in) or internal consequences (you feel anxious much of the time, even when you are doing something that you enjoy). If you put off washing the dishes, but the dishes don’t bother you, who cares? When your procrastination leaves you feeling discouraged and overburdened, however, it is time to take action.
For those of you who want to eliminate procrastination, here are 10 simple steps:
1. First make sure you really, really, really want to do it. Seriously – don’t skip this step.
2. Keep things simple – don’t mess with tools, formatting, anything, just start.
3. Make it the first thing you do today, before checking email or anything else.
4. Clear away everything that stands in the way of doing. Including turning off the Internet.
5. Just get started. Overcome the initial barrier by diving in.
6. Tell yourself you’re just going to do 10 minutes.
7. Put something you dread more at the top of your to-do list — you’ll put off doing that by doing the other things on your list.
8. Find something about it that excites you.
9. Forget about perfection. Just start doing it, and fix it later.
10. If you keep procrastinating, re-evaluate whether you really want to do it. Consider not doing it, or putting it on the backburner.
If all else fails, just take a nap or go outside and enjoy the outdoors or do nothing. Life isn’t all about productivity.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Potpourri of wise advice and other wisecracks
"Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure."
~ Earl Wilson
"Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get."
~ Author Unknown
"It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final."
~ Author Unknown
"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
~ Mark Twain
"Those who understand interest, EARN IT. Those who don't, PAY IT!"
~ Albert Einstein
"If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough!"
~ Mario Andretti
"Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs."
~ Dwight D. Eisenhower
"The alarm bells on our nation's fiscal condition have now become a siren."
~ Sen. Mitch McConnell
"Never bite the hand that feeds you, because it will be the same hand that chokes you to death!"
~ Donluciano Reggallo
"Rich people plan for three generations, poor people plan for Saturday night."
~ Andrew Tobias
"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Accordingly a genius is often merely a talented person who has done all of his or her homework."
- Thomas Edison, Inventor
"High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation."
- Charles Kettering, Inventor
"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."
- Muhammad Ali, boxer
"The greatest test of courage is to bear defeat without losing heart."
- Robert Ingersoll, orator
"You don't have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great."
~ Les Brown
"I have always found that if I move with 75% or more of the facts, I usually never regret it. It's the guys who wait to have everything perfect that drive you crazy."
- Lee Iacocca, executive
"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher."
- Thomas Huxley, Biologist
"You can't do it unless you can imagine it."
- George Lucas, director
Courtesy: Mario Santarelli, O.C., CA. RE Broker/ Norada.com
~ Earl Wilson
"Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get."
~ Author Unknown
"It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final."
~ Author Unknown
"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
~ Mark Twain
"Those who understand interest, EARN IT. Those who don't, PAY IT!"
~ Albert Einstein
"If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough!"
~ Mario Andretti
"Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs."
~ Dwight D. Eisenhower
"The alarm bells on our nation's fiscal condition have now become a siren."
~ Sen. Mitch McConnell
"Never bite the hand that feeds you, because it will be the same hand that chokes you to death!"
~ Donluciano Reggallo
"Rich people plan for three generations, poor people plan for Saturday night."
~ Andrew Tobias
"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Accordingly a genius is often merely a talented person who has done all of his or her homework."
- Thomas Edison, Inventor
"High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation."
- Charles Kettering, Inventor
"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."
- Muhammad Ali, boxer
"The greatest test of courage is to bear defeat without losing heart."
- Robert Ingersoll, orator
"You don't have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great."
~ Les Brown
"I have always found that if I move with 75% or more of the facts, I usually never regret it. It's the guys who wait to have everything perfect that drive you crazy."
- Lee Iacocca, executive
"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher."
- Thomas Huxley, Biologist
"You can't do it unless you can imagine it."
- George Lucas, director
Courtesy: Mario Santarelli, O.C., CA. RE Broker/ Norada.com
***The surest way to become a better and more confident public speaker***
In the late Robert B. Parker's latest Spenser novel, "Cold
Service," Spenser says to Susan this about his sidekick Hawk:
"He's nearly always right. Not because he knows everything. But
because he never talks about things he doesn't know."
This is a good tip for public speakers, bloggers, writers, and
anyone else who communicates: stick to what you know and you'll
be a more effective, more persuasive, more credible communicator.
And by "knowing" a thing, I don't mean just researching and
reading about it. I mean knowing from actual experience.
The only way to ensure total credibility as a speaker is to not
speak on a subject unless you've actually done it. If you haven't
done it and an audience member challenges you, you are completely
vulnerable ... because you don't truly know what you are talking
about.
"This article appears courtesy of Bob Bly Direct Response Letter,"
www.bly.com.
Service," Spenser says to Susan this about his sidekick Hawk:
"He's nearly always right. Not because he knows everything. But
because he never talks about things he doesn't know."
This is a good tip for public speakers, bloggers, writers, and
anyone else who communicates: stick to what you know and you'll
be a more effective, more persuasive, more credible communicator.
And by "knowing" a thing, I don't mean just researching and
reading about it. I mean knowing from actual experience.
The only way to ensure total credibility as a speaker is to not
speak on a subject unless you've actually done it. If you haven't
done it and an audience member challenges you, you are completely
vulnerable ... because you don't truly know what you are talking
about.
"This article appears courtesy of Bob Bly Direct Response Letter,"
www.bly.com.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A True friend compared to An Ordinary friend...
An ordinary friend has never seen you cry.
A true friend has had a wet shoulder from your tears.
An ordinary friend does not know your parents' first names.
A true friend probably has their phone number written down
as well.
An ordinary friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend shows up early to help you prepare...
and stays late to help clean up.
An ordinary friend gets upset when you call late.
A true friend asks why you weren't able to call earlier.
An ordinary friend likes to listen to your problems.
A true friend likes to help you solve them.
An ordinary friend behaves like a guest and waits to be
served when he or she visits.
A true friend goes to the fridge and serves himself.
An ordinary friend thinks your friendship is over after a
quarrel.
A true friend knows that friendships get stronger after a
quarrel.
An ordinary friend always expects you to be there to help out.
A true friend is always there to help you out.
A true friend?
Someone who sticks with you when everyone else abandons you.
..................................................................
"A friend is someone I can be sincere with, someone I can
think out loud to."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
..................................................................
While walking along a beach at dawn an old man saw a boy
picking starfish up off the sand and throwing them back into
the sea. He caught up to the boy and asked him what he was doing.
The boy replied that the starfish would die if left exposed
on the sand after sunrise.
"But this beach goes on for miles," the old man said.
"There must be thousands of starfish stranded on the sand.
What difference will it make to save just a few?"
The boy looked at the starfish he was holding in his hand,
then threw it onto the surf.
"Well, for THAT starfish it makes a big difference!"
(Minnesota Literacy Council)
Another contribution from my True Friend Christian Godefroy :o)
Have a Truly Great weekend!
Your True Friend,
Jacques
A true friend has had a wet shoulder from your tears.
An ordinary friend does not know your parents' first names.
A true friend probably has their phone number written down
as well.
An ordinary friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend shows up early to help you prepare...
and stays late to help clean up.
An ordinary friend gets upset when you call late.
A true friend asks why you weren't able to call earlier.
An ordinary friend likes to listen to your problems.
A true friend likes to help you solve them.
An ordinary friend behaves like a guest and waits to be
served when he or she visits.
A true friend goes to the fridge and serves himself.
An ordinary friend thinks your friendship is over after a
quarrel.
A true friend knows that friendships get stronger after a
quarrel.
An ordinary friend always expects you to be there to help out.
A true friend is always there to help you out.
A true friend?
Someone who sticks with you when everyone else abandons you.
..................................................................
"A friend is someone I can be sincere with, someone I can
think out loud to."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
..................................................................
While walking along a beach at dawn an old man saw a boy
picking starfish up off the sand and throwing them back into
the sea. He caught up to the boy and asked him what he was doing.
The boy replied that the starfish would die if left exposed
on the sand after sunrise.
"But this beach goes on for miles," the old man said.
"There must be thousands of starfish stranded on the sand.
What difference will it make to save just a few?"
The boy looked at the starfish he was holding in his hand,
then threw it onto the surf.
"Well, for THAT starfish it makes a big difference!"
(Minnesota Literacy Council)
Another contribution from my True Friend Christian Godefroy :o)
Have a Truly Great weekend!
Your True Friend,
Jacques
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The Blue Ribbon Story
A professor was in the habit of giving his students a little
gift at the end of the school year - a blue ribbon with the
words "Who I Am Makes A Difference®" printed in gold letters
on the ribbon.
As she gave each student their ribbon she explained why she had
appreciated teaching them, and why his course had been different
because that particular student had been present.
One day it occurred to her to see what effect this little
custom would have on the community. She gave each student 3
blue ribbons instead of one, and told each of them to give one
ribbon to someone they knew who, in their opinion "made a difference."
She also told them to give the 2 other ribbons to that same
person, with instructions to hand them out to others who had
made a difference. After that the students were to come back
and report what happened.
One student who had a part-time job gave his ribbon to his boss,
a grumpy fellow who nevertheless appreciated the honor.
"I admire everything you've done," the student said to his boss.
"I think you're a creative genius and a real fair guy. Will you
allow me to pin this blue ribbon on your jacket as a sign of
my appreciation?"
The boy's boss was surprised but also pleased. "Yeah, sure,
why not?" he said.
"And will you take these 2 other ribbons," the student continued,
"and give them to someone you think makes a difference, like I did
for you? It's for a project we're doing at school."
"All right," the boss replied.
That night the boss returned home wearing the blue ribbon
on his jacket. He greeted his 14 year old son and said,
"Something strange happened to me today. One of my employees
gave me this ribbon. See what's written on it? 'Because you
make a difference.' He gave me another ribbon just like it
and told me to give it to someone who's made a difference for me,
someone who is very special and means a lot to me."
"I had a pretty hard day, but on the way home I said to myself,
'There's only one person I want to give this ribbon to.' I know
I tell you off a lot because you don't work hard enough at school,
because all you think about is going out and having fun with your
friends, because your room's always a mess... But tonight I want
to tell you that you are very very important to me. You and your
mother make all the difference in my life, and I'd like you to
accept this blue ribbon as a sign of my love. I don't tell you
I love you very often, not nearly enough, I know. But I do love
you, and I think you're a wonderful kid!"
As soon as he stopped talking his son burst into tears. His
whole body shook with sobs. His father took him in his arms and
held him close, saying, "That's okay, it's all right. Did I say something wrong?"
"No Dad." his son replied, "It's just that... I decided I was
going to kill myself. I was going to do it tomorrow. I had it
all planned out. I wanted to kill myself because I was sure you
didn't like me, even though I tried hard to be good. Now that's
all changed..."
Courtesy: My Friend Christian Godefroy
gift at the end of the school year - a blue ribbon with the
words "Who I Am Makes A Difference®" printed in gold letters
on the ribbon.
As she gave each student their ribbon she explained why she had
appreciated teaching them, and why his course had been different
because that particular student had been present.
One day it occurred to her to see what effect this little
custom would have on the community. She gave each student 3
blue ribbons instead of one, and told each of them to give one
ribbon to someone they knew who, in their opinion "made a difference."
She also told them to give the 2 other ribbons to that same
person, with instructions to hand them out to others who had
made a difference. After that the students were to come back
and report what happened.
One student who had a part-time job gave his ribbon to his boss,
a grumpy fellow who nevertheless appreciated the honor.
"I admire everything you've done," the student said to his boss.
"I think you're a creative genius and a real fair guy. Will you
allow me to pin this blue ribbon on your jacket as a sign of
my appreciation?"
The boy's boss was surprised but also pleased. "Yeah, sure,
why not?" he said.
"And will you take these 2 other ribbons," the student continued,
"and give them to someone you think makes a difference, like I did
for you? It's for a project we're doing at school."
"All right," the boss replied.
That night the boss returned home wearing the blue ribbon
on his jacket. He greeted his 14 year old son and said,
"Something strange happened to me today. One of my employees
gave me this ribbon. See what's written on it? 'Because you
make a difference.' He gave me another ribbon just like it
and told me to give it to someone who's made a difference for me,
someone who is very special and means a lot to me."
"I had a pretty hard day, but on the way home I said to myself,
'There's only one person I want to give this ribbon to.' I know
I tell you off a lot because you don't work hard enough at school,
because all you think about is going out and having fun with your
friends, because your room's always a mess... But tonight I want
to tell you that you are very very important to me. You and your
mother make all the difference in my life, and I'd like you to
accept this blue ribbon as a sign of my love. I don't tell you
I love you very often, not nearly enough, I know. But I do love
you, and I think you're a wonderful kid!"
As soon as he stopped talking his son burst into tears. His
whole body shook with sobs. His father took him in his arms and
held him close, saying, "That's okay, it's all right. Did I say something wrong?"
"No Dad." his son replied, "It's just that... I decided I was
going to kill myself. I was going to do it tomorrow. I had it
all planned out. I wanted to kill myself because I was sure you
didn't like me, even though I tried hard to be good. Now that's
all changed..."
Courtesy: My Friend Christian Godefroy
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The Salesman Story...
A salesman had a flat tire somewhere out in the countryside.
He opened his trunk and looked for his jack... but it wasn't
there.
"Hum, now what do I do," he thought.
Since he was stranded on a small country road on a hot summer
day, he doubted anyone would drive by to help. Seeing the
spire of a church in the distance, he decided to walk to the
nearest village and borrow a jack. It was a long way, and the
day was very hot. On the way he thought, "I hope someone in
that town has a jack they can lend me."
He walked some more, sweating profusely, and then thought,
"I know what the people around here are like. They don't take
kindly to strangers."
He walked a little further, thinking, "Since they don't
know me, I really don't thing anyone is going to lend me a jack."
And so he continued walking and imagining the worst possible
outcome to his predicament... No one in the town would be
willing to lend him a jack, people would be so suspicious
they'd even refuse to sell him one, and so on.
By the time he got to the village he was so upset he went
to the square in the middle of town and started shouting,
"All right, since that's the way you feel, you can keep your
damn jack!"
o 0 o
How often have you invented all kinds of seemingly
insurmountable obstacles and unfounded fears? Think about
it Christian, how many times have you not asked for something
because you were afraid to be refused?
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy :o)
He opened his trunk and looked for his jack... but it wasn't
there.
"Hum, now what do I do," he thought.
Since he was stranded on a small country road on a hot summer
day, he doubted anyone would drive by to help. Seeing the
spire of a church in the distance, he decided to walk to the
nearest village and borrow a jack. It was a long way, and the
day was very hot. On the way he thought, "I hope someone in
that town has a jack they can lend me."
He walked some more, sweating profusely, and then thought,
"I know what the people around here are like. They don't take
kindly to strangers."
He walked a little further, thinking, "Since they don't
know me, I really don't thing anyone is going to lend me a jack."
And so he continued walking and imagining the worst possible
outcome to his predicament... No one in the town would be
willing to lend him a jack, people would be so suspicious
they'd even refuse to sell him one, and so on.
By the time he got to the village he was so upset he went
to the square in the middle of town and started shouting,
"All right, since that's the way you feel, you can keep your
damn jack!"
o 0 o
How often have you invented all kinds of seemingly
insurmountable obstacles and unfounded fears? Think about
it Christian, how many times have you not asked for something
because you were afraid to be refused?
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy :o)
LITTLE THINGS DON't MEAN A LOT...
What is CRITICAL to understand is that your ultimate success, fulfillment and happiness will come from doing the little things that matter.
As entrepreneur and best-selling author Harvey Mackay said, “Little things don’t mean a lot. They mean everything.”
Here is a short list of 35 things you can do in less than 10 seconds that will make you a better person, enhance your self-image and improve the quality of your life.
1. Make it a point to say the words ”I love you” to the people in your home every single day.
2. Offer a friendly authentic smile- a great smile radiates warmth, puts people at ease and makes you likable.
3. Make comfortable eye contact- your eyes send messages; establishing and maintaining eye contact with people demonstrates confidence, respect, and genuine interest.
4. Use someone’s name – everyone likes to hear and see his or her name.
5. Acknowledge people- smile and say hi to the people around you.
6. Express your appreciation- say “thank you” to everyone who does something for you even if they are paid to do it.
7. Be unselfish and put others first- it could be as simple as holding the door open for someone.
8. Offer a word of encouragement- sometimes this is all a person needs to build confidence and take the next big step. This is big!
9. Accept responsibility when you are wrong- it’s the sign of a person with character.
10. Be friendly- it lifts the attitude of others and is the #1 factor in being likable.
11. Maintain a positive mental attitude- your attitude is a choice and that choice is 100% within your control.
12. Be kind and considerate- to people you know as well as strangers.
13. Be like a dog and be the first to greet people- it helps new people entering the room feel more comfortable and demonstrates your interest in them.
14. Offer people you meet a warm greeting- this will set the tone for the entire encounter.
15. Say "please"- make it a habit to use the word please EVERY TIME you ask someone to do something for you even if they are paid to do it.
16. Get up and walk into the other room to speak to someone, rather than yelling.
17. Put the toilet seat down.
18. Turn your head and cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
19. Improve your body posture- poor posture is an indication of low self-esteem.
20. Say goodbye- make a good last impression.
21. Offer a proper handshake- a good, firm handshake demonstrates confidence and makes a good impression.
22. Give someone a hug- a hug is a sign that you really care for the other person.
23. Proof your email, text or post- this is an important component of portraying a professional online brand.
24. Click the LIKE button on someone’s Facebook post- it’s an easy way to demonstrate interest.
25. Turn off your phone in meetings- even though your phone may not make sounds, your eyes and attention will be diverted from the other people in attendance and your lack of attention demonstrates disrespect and disinterest.
26. Repeat your phone number twice when leaving a voicemail- speaking slowly and repeating your phone number will make you stand out and considerate.
27. When scheduling appointments use the other person’s time zone- this avoids misunderstandings or missed opportunities.
28. Speak with life and energy in your voice- no one likes to be around people who are “dead, dull and lifeless.”
29. Walk with a bounce in your step- it’s evidence of an energetic attitude that ultimately leads to success.
30. Turn off the notifications that are bugging those around you.
31. Write things down- it prevents you from forgetting things that are important.
32. Say something positive to others about another person- reverse gossip.
33. Congratulate your opponent- good sportsmanship is evidence of leadership and self-confidence.
34. Be proactive and introduce yourself to people whom you have never met.
35. Look for the good in others and tell them what you see- you have the ability to bring out the best in people, especially when they may not know it themselves.
As you can see, each of these tips is easy to do. They don’t require any formal education or financial investment. We can begin to incorporate them into our lives this very minute. All we need is to be conscious of them and be willing to take 10 seconds to do them.
-----
This is the middle of the 4th of July week: contribute to and upgrade America!
Your Friend,
Jacques
As entrepreneur and best-selling author Harvey Mackay said, “Little things don’t mean a lot. They mean everything.”
Here is a short list of 35 things you can do in less than 10 seconds that will make you a better person, enhance your self-image and improve the quality of your life.
1. Make it a point to say the words ”I love you” to the people in your home every single day.
2. Offer a friendly authentic smile- a great smile radiates warmth, puts people at ease and makes you likable.
3. Make comfortable eye contact- your eyes send messages; establishing and maintaining eye contact with people demonstrates confidence, respect, and genuine interest.
4. Use someone’s name – everyone likes to hear and see his or her name.
5. Acknowledge people- smile and say hi to the people around you.
6. Express your appreciation- say “thank you” to everyone who does something for you even if they are paid to do it.
7. Be unselfish and put others first- it could be as simple as holding the door open for someone.
8. Offer a word of encouragement- sometimes this is all a person needs to build confidence and take the next big step. This is big!
9. Accept responsibility when you are wrong- it’s the sign of a person with character.
10. Be friendly- it lifts the attitude of others and is the #1 factor in being likable.
11. Maintain a positive mental attitude- your attitude is a choice and that choice is 100% within your control.
12. Be kind and considerate- to people you know as well as strangers.
13. Be like a dog and be the first to greet people- it helps new people entering the room feel more comfortable and demonstrates your interest in them.
14. Offer people you meet a warm greeting- this will set the tone for the entire encounter.
15. Say "please"- make it a habit to use the word please EVERY TIME you ask someone to do something for you even if they are paid to do it.
16. Get up and walk into the other room to speak to someone, rather than yelling.
17. Put the toilet seat down.
18. Turn your head and cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
19. Improve your body posture- poor posture is an indication of low self-esteem.
20. Say goodbye- make a good last impression.
21. Offer a proper handshake- a good, firm handshake demonstrates confidence and makes a good impression.
22. Give someone a hug- a hug is a sign that you really care for the other person.
23. Proof your email, text or post- this is an important component of portraying a professional online brand.
24. Click the LIKE button on someone’s Facebook post- it’s an easy way to demonstrate interest.
25. Turn off your phone in meetings- even though your phone may not make sounds, your eyes and attention will be diverted from the other people in attendance and your lack of attention demonstrates disrespect and disinterest.
26. Repeat your phone number twice when leaving a voicemail- speaking slowly and repeating your phone number will make you stand out and considerate.
27. When scheduling appointments use the other person’s time zone- this avoids misunderstandings or missed opportunities.
28. Speak with life and energy in your voice- no one likes to be around people who are “dead, dull and lifeless.”
29. Walk with a bounce in your step- it’s evidence of an energetic attitude that ultimately leads to success.
30. Turn off the notifications that are bugging those around you.
31. Write things down- it prevents you from forgetting things that are important.
32. Say something positive to others about another person- reverse gossip.
33. Congratulate your opponent- good sportsmanship is evidence of leadership and self-confidence.
34. Be proactive and introduce yourself to people whom you have never met.
35. Look for the good in others and tell them what you see- you have the ability to bring out the best in people, especially when they may not know it themselves.
As you can see, each of these tips is easy to do. They don’t require any formal education or financial investment. We can begin to incorporate them into our lives this very minute. All we need is to be conscious of them and be willing to take 10 seconds to do them.
-----
This is the middle of the 4th of July week: contribute to and upgrade America!
Your Friend,
Jacques
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Make Your Customers Feel Important
By: Brian Tracy
Listening is the Key
Listening builds self-esteem. It has been said that, "Rapt attention is the highest form of flattery." When you listen intently to another person and it is clear that you genuinely care about what that other person is saying, his or her self-esteem goes up. His or her feeling of personal value increases. He or she feels more worthwhile and important as a human being. You can actually make another person feel terrific about himself or herself by listening in a warm, genuine, caring way to everything he or she has to say.
Pay Close Attention
When a man and a woman go out for the first time, they spend an inordinate amount of time talking and listening to each other. They look into each other's eyes and hang on every word. They are each fascinated by the personality of the other. The more each listens to the other, the more positive and happy each of them feel and the stronger becomes the bonds of affection between them.
Focus 100% On the Other Person
The opposite of listening is ignoring. You always listen to that which you most value. You always ignore that which you devalue. The fastest way to turn a person off, to hurt their feelings and make them feel slighted and angry is to simply ignore what they are saying or interrupt them in the middle of a thought. Ignoring or interrupting is the equivalent of an emotional slap in the face. Men especially have to be careful about their natural desire to make a remark or an observation in the middle of a conversation. This can often cause the sales conversation to come to a grinding halt.
Action Exercises
First, take every opportunity to make the other person feel important by listening attentively to what he or she says.
Second, avoid interrupting the other person by slowing down and pausing for a few moments after he or she has stopped speaking.
-----
JACQUES' COMMENT:
Brian Tracy clearly shared a potent, yet easy to learn by practicing the precious "art" and "science" of sincerely, attentively LISTENING!
My Congratulations and Thanks for this!
Listening is the Key
Listening builds self-esteem. It has been said that, "Rapt attention is the highest form of flattery." When you listen intently to another person and it is clear that you genuinely care about what that other person is saying, his or her self-esteem goes up. His or her feeling of personal value increases. He or she feels more worthwhile and important as a human being. You can actually make another person feel terrific about himself or herself by listening in a warm, genuine, caring way to everything he or she has to say.
Pay Close Attention
When a man and a woman go out for the first time, they spend an inordinate amount of time talking and listening to each other. They look into each other's eyes and hang on every word. They are each fascinated by the personality of the other. The more each listens to the other, the more positive and happy each of them feel and the stronger becomes the bonds of affection between them.
Focus 100% On the Other Person
The opposite of listening is ignoring. You always listen to that which you most value. You always ignore that which you devalue. The fastest way to turn a person off, to hurt their feelings and make them feel slighted and angry is to simply ignore what they are saying or interrupt them in the middle of a thought. Ignoring or interrupting is the equivalent of an emotional slap in the face. Men especially have to be careful about their natural desire to make a remark or an observation in the middle of a conversation. This can often cause the sales conversation to come to a grinding halt.
Action Exercises
First, take every opportunity to make the other person feel important by listening attentively to what he or she says.
Second, avoid interrupting the other person by slowing down and pausing for a few moments after he or she has stopped speaking.
-----
JACQUES' COMMENT:
Brian Tracy clearly shared a potent, yet easy to learn by practicing the precious "art" and "science" of sincerely, attentively LISTENING!
My Congratulations and Thanks for this!
Dreams Into Realities...
"Dreams never hurt anybody if he keeps working right behind the dream to make as much of it become real as he can."
- Frank Woolworth, Entrepreneur
"Wisdom is knowing what to do; virtue is doing it."
- David Jordan, scientist
"Courage is rarely reckless or foolish. Courage usually involves a highly realistic estimate of the odds that must be faced."
- Margaret Truman, author
"A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power."
- Brian Tracy, Author
"Your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing."
- Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. president
- Frank Woolworth, Entrepreneur
"Wisdom is knowing what to do; virtue is doing it."
- David Jordan, scientist
"Courage is rarely reckless or foolish. Courage usually involves a highly realistic estimate of the odds that must be faced."
- Margaret Truman, author
"A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power."
- Brian Tracy, Author
"Your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing."
- Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. president
Friday, July 2, 2010
Bad luck or good luck, who can say?
There once was very poor man living in a village who had a
very fine horse. So fine, in fact, that the lord of the castle
wanted to buy it. But the old man always refused.
"To me this horse is not merely an animal. He's a friend.
How could I sell you my friend?"
One morning he went to the stable and found his horse gone.
All the villagers said, "We told you! You should have sold
your horse. Now he's been stolen instead. What terrible luck."
"Bad luck or good luck," the old man said. "Who can say?"
Everyone laughed at him. But 15 days later the horse returned,
followed by a whole herd of wild horses. He had escaped from the
stable, courted a young mare, and returned with the rest of
the herd following behind!
"What luck!" the villagers cried.
The old man and his son began training the wild horses. But
a week later the man's son broke his leg trying to train one of
the horses.
"Bad luck," said his friends. "What are you going to do now
without your son to help you? You who are already so poor."
"Bad luck, good luck, who can say?" the old man replied.
A few days later an army belonging to the lord of the land
passed through the village and forced all the young men to become
soldiers. All... except the old man's son, because of his broken
leg.
"How lucky you are," the villagers cried. "All our children
are gone to war, but you've been able to keep your son. Our sons
will probably be killed..."
The old man replied, "Bad luck, good luck... who can say?"
The future comes to us in bits and pieces. We never know what
lies in store for us. But if you always maintain a positive
attitude the doors of chance remain open, and you will be a
happier person.
-----
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy
"Luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it."
- Samuel Goldwyn, entertainment executive
very fine horse. So fine, in fact, that the lord of the castle
wanted to buy it. But the old man always refused.
"To me this horse is not merely an animal. He's a friend.
How could I sell you my friend?"
One morning he went to the stable and found his horse gone.
All the villagers said, "We told you! You should have sold
your horse. Now he's been stolen instead. What terrible luck."
"Bad luck or good luck," the old man said. "Who can say?"
Everyone laughed at him. But 15 days later the horse returned,
followed by a whole herd of wild horses. He had escaped from the
stable, courted a young mare, and returned with the rest of
the herd following behind!
"What luck!" the villagers cried.
The old man and his son began training the wild horses. But
a week later the man's son broke his leg trying to train one of
the horses.
"Bad luck," said his friends. "What are you going to do now
without your son to help you? You who are already so poor."
"Bad luck, good luck, who can say?" the old man replied.
A few days later an army belonging to the lord of the land
passed through the village and forced all the young men to become
soldiers. All... except the old man's son, because of his broken
leg.
"How lucky you are," the villagers cried. "All our children
are gone to war, but you've been able to keep your son. Our sons
will probably be killed..."
The old man replied, "Bad luck, good luck... who can say?"
The future comes to us in bits and pieces. We never know what
lies in store for us. But if you always maintain a positive
attitude the doors of chance remain open, and you will be a
happier person.
-----
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy
"Luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it."
- Samuel Goldwyn, entertainment executive
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The $20 bill
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up
a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked:
"Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up. He said:
"I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first,
let me do this."
He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked:
"Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into
the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because
it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground
into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that
come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you
will never lose your value. To those who love you, you are
priceless.
The worth of our lives come not in what we do or who we know
but by who we are!"
-----
Today's gem from my friend Christian Godefroy.
a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked:
"Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up. He said:
"I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first,
let me do this."
He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked:
"Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?"
And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into
the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because
it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground
into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that
come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you
will never lose your value. To those who love you, you are
priceless.
The worth of our lives come not in what we do or who we know
but by who we are!"
-----
Today's gem from my friend Christian Godefroy.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The triple Test
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in
high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher
and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me
anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the
Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about
my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what
you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.
The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what
you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's
true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of
goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend
something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something bad
about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass
the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of
usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to
be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is
neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy
high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher
and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me
anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the
Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about
my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what
you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.
The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what
you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's
true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of
goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend
something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something bad
about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass
the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of
usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to
be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is
neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
Courtesy: Christian Godefroy
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
TIME is Money...and Much More!
"While it is reprehensible to cheat , "con", steal money or "stuff" from another, nevertheless if the injured party is reasonably healthy, they can always "pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start over again", as it says in the song. Perhaps even receive compensation from their Insurance Company, if the latter is honorable.
To waste or steal the Time of another, however, is totally unforgiveable as even the wealthiest person on earth could not buy a minute or a second of Time if their life depended on it.
This principle is especially valid in the case of an appointment, date or other Time-related Commitment made to another, then rudely and irresponsibly delayed or unkept without first alerting the waiting party."
The above and many other good character, moral, ethical, common courtesy, decency, consideration, and respect (re)builders of all sorts are the subject of my upcoming book, "Promises...Promises...Promises..." (for those who say "yes!" too readily: How to make Less and Keep All of them).
It is a new, challenging guide on simply treating others the way you like being treated yourself (or should), and is the Psychological Imperative of becoming a habitual, automatic Promise Keeper: one whose Word, once given, is his/her personal Universe...a "fait accompli (a done deal)..."money in the Bank"!
Just imagine living in a World of punctual, reliable, dependable Promise Keepers, with You as a shining example who Always honors the value of others' Time!
Jacques Girard, Ph.D., C.Ht.
"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein."
- Jackson Brown Jr., writer
"Someone might have a germ of talent, but 90% of it is discipline and how you practice it, what you do with it. Instinct won't carry you through the entire journey. It's what you do in the moments between inspiration."
- Cate Blanchett, actress
..............................................................
The value of time:
To understand the value of a year, talk to a student who has
failed an important exam.
To understand the value of a month, talk to a mother who has
given birth to a baby a month prematurely.
To understand the value of a week, talk to the publisher of a
weekly newspaper.
To understand the value of an hour, talk to a couple in love
who are separated and want only to be together again.
To understand the value of a minute, talk to someone who has
just missed a train or a plane.
To understand the value of a second, talk to someone who has
lost a loved one in an accident.
To understand the value of a millisecond, talk to someone who
won a silver medal at the Olympic Games.
Time waits for no one. Gather all the time you have left every
moment, and it will be of great use to you. Share it with people
you value and love and it will become even more precious.
To waste or steal the Time of another, however, is totally unforgiveable as even the wealthiest person on earth could not buy a minute or a second of Time if their life depended on it.
This principle is especially valid in the case of an appointment, date or other Time-related Commitment made to another, then rudely and irresponsibly delayed or unkept without first alerting the waiting party."
The above and many other good character, moral, ethical, common courtesy, decency, consideration, and respect (re)builders of all sorts are the subject of my upcoming book, "Promises...Promises...Promises..." (for those who say "yes!" too readily: How to make Less and Keep All of them).
It is a new, challenging guide on simply treating others the way you like being treated yourself (or should), and is the Psychological Imperative of becoming a habitual, automatic Promise Keeper: one whose Word, once given, is his/her personal Universe...a "fait accompli (a done deal)..."money in the Bank"!
Just imagine living in a World of punctual, reliable, dependable Promise Keepers, with You as a shining example who Always honors the value of others' Time!
Jacques Girard, Ph.D., C.Ht.
"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein."
- Jackson Brown Jr., writer
"Someone might have a germ of talent, but 90% of it is discipline and how you practice it, what you do with it. Instinct won't carry you through the entire journey. It's what you do in the moments between inspiration."
- Cate Blanchett, actress
..............................................................
The value of time:
To understand the value of a year, talk to a student who has
failed an important exam.
To understand the value of a month, talk to a mother who has
given birth to a baby a month prematurely.
To understand the value of a week, talk to the publisher of a
weekly newspaper.
To understand the value of an hour, talk to a couple in love
who are separated and want only to be together again.
To understand the value of a minute, talk to someone who has
just missed a train or a plane.
To understand the value of a second, talk to someone who has
lost a loved one in an accident.
To understand the value of a millisecond, talk to someone who
won a silver medal at the Olympic Games.
Time waits for no one. Gather all the time you have left every
moment, and it will be of great use to you. Share it with people
you value and love and it will become even more precious.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
What are the Big stones in Your Life?
One day, an old professor of the national School of
administration (ENA-France) was asked to give a training course on
the effective economic planning of one's time to a group of about
fifteen leaders of big companies from North America.
This course constituted one of 5 workshops of their day of
training. So, the old Prof. only had one hour to spend on this
subject.
Standing in front of this group of elite who was ready
to note everything that the expert was going to teach, the old
Prof. looked at them one by one, slowly, then said to them:
"We are going to make an experiment".
From under the table which separated him from his pupils,
the old Prof. took out an immense gallon Mason jar (glass jar of more
than 4 liters) which he directly put in front of him.
Then, he took out about a dozen pebbles roughly as big as
tennis balls and placed them delicately, one by one, in the
big jar. When the jar was filled up to the brim, and when it was
impossible to add anything to it, he raised slowly his eyes
towards the pupils, and asked them:
"Is this jar full?"
Everybody answered: "Yes".
He waited for a few seconds and added: "Really?"
Then, he bent again and took out from under the table a pot
filled with little stones. With accuracy, he poured these little
pebbles on the big stones, then moved softly the jar.
The fragments of little pebbles went between the stones
down to the bottom of the jar. The old Prof. raised his eyes again
towards his audience and asked:
"Is this jar full?".
This time, his brilliant pupils began to understand the whole
process. One of them answered:
"Probably not!"
"Well!" answered the old Prof..
He bent again and this time, took out from under the table a
bucket of sand. With attention, he poured the sand into the jar.
The sand went to fil the spaces between the big big stones and the
little pebbles. Once again, he asked:
"Is this jar full?". This time, without hesitation, and in a
choir, the brilliant pupils answered:
"No!".
"Well!" answered the old Prof. And, as expected by the
brilliant pupils, he took the jug of water which was on the table
and filled the jar up to the brim. Then, the old Prof. raised
his eyes towards his group and asked:
"Which big truth does this experiment show to us?" .
Being no fool, the most audacious of the pupils, thinking
about the topic of this course, answered:
"It shows that even when one believes that our diary is
completely filled, if one wants really wants it, one can add
more meetings to it, more things to be made".
The old Prof. answered. "It is not that".
"The big truth that this experiment shows to us is the following
one:
- "If one does not put the big stones first in the jar, one
will never be able to make all of them go in, then".
There was a profound silence, each becoming aware of the
evidence of these comments.
Then, the old Prof. Told them: "Which are the big stones
in your life?"
"Your health?"
"Your family?"
"Your friends?"
"To make your dreams come true?"
"Learning?"
"To do what you enjoy?"
"To relax?"
"To fight for a cause?"
"To take time for yourself?"
"Or any other thing?"
"What it is necessary to remember is the importance to put
one's BIG STONES in first in one's life, otherwise one encouters
the risks not to succeed in one's life.
If one gives priority to pecadilloes (the little pebbles, the
sand), one will fill one's life with pecadilloes and one will
have no more enough precious time to dedicate to the important
elements of one's life".
Then do not forget to ask to yourself this question:
"Which are the BIG STONES IN MY LIFE?
Then, put them in, first"
With a friendly gesture of the hand, the old professor
greeted his audience and slowly left the room.
What are the BIG STONES in your life, Jacques?
-----
This was today's message from my wise friend Christian Godefroy. Probably you noticed his French phrase turnings. You may reach him at:
http://www.Psoitive-Club.com
Hope you enjoyed and learned from this post. All my Best wishes,
Your Friend,
Jacques
administration (ENA-France) was asked to give a training course on
the effective economic planning of one's time to a group of about
fifteen leaders of big companies from North America.
This course constituted one of 5 workshops of their day of
training. So, the old Prof. only had one hour to spend on this
subject.
Standing in front of this group of elite who was ready
to note everything that the expert was going to teach, the old
Prof. looked at them one by one, slowly, then said to them:
"We are going to make an experiment".
From under the table which separated him from his pupils,
the old Prof. took out an immense gallon Mason jar (glass jar of more
than 4 liters) which he directly put in front of him.
Then, he took out about a dozen pebbles roughly as big as
tennis balls and placed them delicately, one by one, in the
big jar. When the jar was filled up to the brim, and when it was
impossible to add anything to it, he raised slowly his eyes
towards the pupils, and asked them:
"Is this jar full?"
Everybody answered: "Yes".
He waited for a few seconds and added: "Really?"
Then, he bent again and took out from under the table a pot
filled with little stones. With accuracy, he poured these little
pebbles on the big stones, then moved softly the jar.
The fragments of little pebbles went between the stones
down to the bottom of the jar. The old Prof. raised his eyes again
towards his audience and asked:
"Is this jar full?".
This time, his brilliant pupils began to understand the whole
process. One of them answered:
"Probably not!"
"Well!" answered the old Prof..
He bent again and this time, took out from under the table a
bucket of sand. With attention, he poured the sand into the jar.
The sand went to fil the spaces between the big big stones and the
little pebbles. Once again, he asked:
"Is this jar full?". This time, without hesitation, and in a
choir, the brilliant pupils answered:
"No!".
"Well!" answered the old Prof. And, as expected by the
brilliant pupils, he took the jug of water which was on the table
and filled the jar up to the brim. Then, the old Prof. raised
his eyes towards his group and asked:
"Which big truth does this experiment show to us?" .
Being no fool, the most audacious of the pupils, thinking
about the topic of this course, answered:
"It shows that even when one believes that our diary is
completely filled, if one wants really wants it, one can add
more meetings to it, more things to be made".
The old Prof. answered. "It is not that".
"The big truth that this experiment shows to us is the following
one:
- "If one does not put the big stones first in the jar, one
will never be able to make all of them go in, then".
There was a profound silence, each becoming aware of the
evidence of these comments.
Then, the old Prof. Told them: "Which are the big stones
in your life?"
"Your health?"
"Your family?"
"Your friends?"
"To make your dreams come true?"
"Learning?"
"To do what you enjoy?"
"To relax?"
"To fight for a cause?"
"To take time for yourself?"
"Or any other thing?"
"What it is necessary to remember is the importance to put
one's BIG STONES in first in one's life, otherwise one encouters
the risks not to succeed in one's life.
If one gives priority to pecadilloes (the little pebbles, the
sand), one will fill one's life with pecadilloes and one will
have no more enough precious time to dedicate to the important
elements of one's life".
Then do not forget to ask to yourself this question:
"Which are the BIG STONES IN MY LIFE?
Then, put them in, first"
With a friendly gesture of the hand, the old professor
greeted his audience and slowly left the room.
What are the BIG STONES in your life, Jacques?
-----
This was today's message from my wise friend Christian Godefroy. Probably you noticed his French phrase turnings. You may reach him at:
http://www.Psoitive-Club.com
Hope you enjoyed and learned from this post. All my Best wishes,
Your Friend,
Jacques
Monday, May 31, 2010
Doors to Wisdom: A Memorial Day Gift sent me by
my Friend and Master of Positivity: Christian Godefroy
A King had, as only son, a young Prince, brave, skillful
and intelligent. To perfect his knowledge of Life, he sent
him by the side of an Old Wise Man.
"Bring Light to my Path of Life", the Prince asked.
"My words will faint away like the prints of your steps in
the sand", the Wise Man answered. However, I want to give you
some indications. On your Path, you will find 3 doors. Read
the rules written on each of them.
An irresistible need will urge you to follow them.
Don't try and get away from them, because you would be
condemned to live again, ceaselessly, what you have avoided.
I may tell you no more.
You have to feel all this deep in your heart and in your flesh.
Go, now. Follow this path, right in front of you. "
The Old Wise Man disappeared and the Prince entered
the Path of Life.
He was soon in front of a big door, on which one could read:
"CHANGE THE WORLD".
"It was my intention indeed", the Prince thought, "because
if some things please me in this world, others greatly displease
me."
And he began his first fight. His ideal, his ardour and his
power urged him to confront himself to the world, to undertake,
to conquer, to model reality according to his desires.
He found there the pleasure and the dizzyness of the conqueror,
but no peace in his heart. He managed to change some things but
many others resisted to him. Many years passed.
One day, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt," the Prince answered, " how to discern what
is within my power and what is without, what depends on me and
what does not depend on me".
"That's good!", the Old Man said. "Use your strength to act
on what is within your power. Forget what's beyond your power."
And he disappeared.
A bit later, the Prince was in front of a second door.
He could read on it :
"CHANGE THE OTHERS".
"It was my intention indeed", he thought. "The others are
a source of pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction, but also,
of pain, bitterness and frustration."
And he rebelled against everything that could disturb him
or displease him in his fellow men. He tried to bend their
characters and to extirpate their defects.
It was there his second fight.
Many years passed.
One day, as he was meditating on the utility of the attempts
to change the others, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that the others are not
the cause or the source of my joys and my punishments, my
satisfactions and my setbacks. They are only opportunities
for all of them to be revealed.
It is in myself that all these things have their roots."
"You are right," the Wise Man said. "According to what they
wake up in you, the others reveal you to yourself. Be grateful
to those who make your enjoyment and pleasure vibrate.
But be also grateful to those who create in you suffering or
frustration, because, through them, life teaches you what
is left in you to learn and the path that you still have
to walk."
And the Old Man disappeared.
A bit further, the Prince arrived in front of a door, on
which these words were written:
"CHANGE YOURSELF".
"If I am myself the cause of my problems, it is indeed what's
left in me to work on", he said to himself.
And he began his 3rd fight. He tried to bend his character,
to fight his imperfections, to abolish his defects, to change
everything that did not please him in himself, everything that
did not correspond to his ideal.
After many years of this fight, in which he met some success,
but also, some failures and some resistances, the Prince met the
Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that there are things
that we can improve, others that resist to us and that we can't
manage to break."
"That's good!" the Wise Man said.
"Yes", the Prince went on, "but I am beginning to be tired
of fighting against everything, against everybody, against
myself. Won't there be an end to it one day? When shall I
find a rest? I want to stop fighting, to give up, to
abandon everything, I want to let go !"
"It is precisely your next lesson", the Old Wise Man said.
"But before going any further, turn round and behold the path
covered."
And he disappeared.
On looking back, the Prince saw in the distance the 3rd door,
and noticed that it was carrying a text on its back, saying :
"ACCEPT YOURSELF."
The Prince was surprised not to have seen this writing when
he went through the door, the other way.
"When one fights, one becomes blind", he said to himself.
He also saw, lying on the ground, scattered around him,
everything he had thrown away and fought against in him:
his defects, his shadows, his fears, his limits, all his
old worries. He had learnt then how to recognize them, to
accept them, to love them. He had learnt how to love himself
without comparing himself to the others any more, without
judging himself, without reprimanding himself.
He met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince answered," that hating or refusing
a part of myself, it is to condemn myself never to be in
agreement with myself. I learnt how to accept myself, totally,
unconditionally."
"That's good!", the Old Man said, it is the first rule in
Wisdom. Now you can go back through the 3rd door."
He had no sooner reached the other side, that the Prince
perceived far away the back side of the second door, on which
he could read:
"ACCEPT THE OTHERS".
All around him, he could recognize the persons he had been
with all his life through; those he had loved as well as those
he had hated. Those he had supported and those he had fought.
But the biggest surprise of all for him was that now, he was
absolutely unable to see their imperfections, their defects,
what formerly had embarrassed him so much, and against which
he had fought.
He met the Old Wise Man again.
"What have you learnt on your path?" he asked him.
"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that by being in
agreement with myself, I had no more anything to blame in the
others, no more anything to be afraid of in them. I have
learnt how to accept and to love the others, totally,
unconditionally."
"That's good!", the Old Wise Man said. "It is the second
rule in Wisdom. You can go back through the second door."
On reaching the other side of the second door, the Prince
perceived in the distance the back side of the first door,
on which he could read:
"ACCEPT THE WORLD".
"Strangely enough", he said to himself, "that I did not see
these words on the first time". He looked all around him and
recognized this world which he had tried to conquer, to
transform, to change. He was struck by the brightness and
the beauty of every thing. By their perfection.
Nevertheless, it was the same world as before. Was it
the world which had changed or the glance he had on it?
He met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince said, that the world is a mirror
for my soul. That my soul can't see the world, it sees itself
in the world. When my soul is cheerful, the world seems cheerful
to it.
When it is overcome, the world seems sad to it. The world
itself is neither sad nor cheerful. It IS there; it exists; it
is everything. It was Not the world that disturbed me, but the
idea that I had of it. I have learnt to accept it without
judging it, to accept it totally, unconditionally. "
"It is 3rd rule of Wisdom", the Old Man said.
"You are here now in agreement with yourself, with the others
and with the World."
A profound feeling of peace, serenity, plenitude, filled
the Prince. Silence was in him.
"Now, you are ready to go past the last Threshold", the
Old Wise Man said, "the one that goes from the silence of
Plenitude to the Plenitude of Silence ".
And the Old Man disappeared.
(Text proposed by Franēoise Laurent)
A King had, as only son, a young Prince, brave, skillful
and intelligent. To perfect his knowledge of Life, he sent
him by the side of an Old Wise Man.
"Bring Light to my Path of Life", the Prince asked.
"My words will faint away like the prints of your steps in
the sand", the Wise Man answered. However, I want to give you
some indications. On your Path, you will find 3 doors. Read
the rules written on each of them.
An irresistible need will urge you to follow them.
Don't try and get away from them, because you would be
condemned to live again, ceaselessly, what you have avoided.
I may tell you no more.
You have to feel all this deep in your heart and in your flesh.
Go, now. Follow this path, right in front of you. "
The Old Wise Man disappeared and the Prince entered
the Path of Life.
He was soon in front of a big door, on which one could read:
"CHANGE THE WORLD".
"It was my intention indeed", the Prince thought, "because
if some things please me in this world, others greatly displease
me."
And he began his first fight. His ideal, his ardour and his
power urged him to confront himself to the world, to undertake,
to conquer, to model reality according to his desires.
He found there the pleasure and the dizzyness of the conqueror,
but no peace in his heart. He managed to change some things but
many others resisted to him. Many years passed.
One day, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt," the Prince answered, " how to discern what
is within my power and what is without, what depends on me and
what does not depend on me".
"That's good!", the Old Man said. "Use your strength to act
on what is within your power. Forget what's beyond your power."
And he disappeared.
A bit later, the Prince was in front of a second door.
He could read on it :
"CHANGE THE OTHERS".
"It was my intention indeed", he thought. "The others are
a source of pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction, but also,
of pain, bitterness and frustration."
And he rebelled against everything that could disturb him
or displease him in his fellow men. He tried to bend their
characters and to extirpate their defects.
It was there his second fight.
Many years passed.
One day, as he was meditating on the utility of the attempts
to change the others, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that the others are not
the cause or the source of my joys and my punishments, my
satisfactions and my setbacks. They are only opportunities
for all of them to be revealed.
It is in myself that all these things have their roots."
"You are right," the Wise Man said. "According to what they
wake up in you, the others reveal you to yourself. Be grateful
to those who make your enjoyment and pleasure vibrate.
But be also grateful to those who create in you suffering or
frustration, because, through them, life teaches you what
is left in you to learn and the path that you still have
to walk."
And the Old Man disappeared.
A bit further, the Prince arrived in front of a door, on
which these words were written:
"CHANGE YOURSELF".
"If I am myself the cause of my problems, it is indeed what's
left in me to work on", he said to himself.
And he began his 3rd fight. He tried to bend his character,
to fight his imperfections, to abolish his defects, to change
everything that did not please him in himself, everything that
did not correspond to his ideal.
After many years of this fight, in which he met some success,
but also, some failures and some resistances, the Prince met the
Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that there are things
that we can improve, others that resist to us and that we can't
manage to break."
"That's good!" the Wise Man said.
"Yes", the Prince went on, "but I am beginning to be tired
of fighting against everything, against everybody, against
myself. Won't there be an end to it one day? When shall I
find a rest? I want to stop fighting, to give up, to
abandon everything, I want to let go !"
"It is precisely your next lesson", the Old Wise Man said.
"But before going any further, turn round and behold the path
covered."
And he disappeared.
On looking back, the Prince saw in the distance the 3rd door,
and noticed that it was carrying a text on its back, saying :
"ACCEPT YOURSELF."
The Prince was surprised not to have seen this writing when
he went through the door, the other way.
"When one fights, one becomes blind", he said to himself.
He also saw, lying on the ground, scattered around him,
everything he had thrown away and fought against in him:
his defects, his shadows, his fears, his limits, all his
old worries. He had learnt then how to recognize them, to
accept them, to love them. He had learnt how to love himself
without comparing himself to the others any more, without
judging himself, without reprimanding himself.
He met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince answered," that hating or refusing
a part of myself, it is to condemn myself never to be in
agreement with myself. I learnt how to accept myself, totally,
unconditionally."
"That's good!", the Old Man said, it is the first rule in
Wisdom. Now you can go back through the 3rd door."
He had no sooner reached the other side, that the Prince
perceived far away the back side of the second door, on which
he could read:
"ACCEPT THE OTHERS".
All around him, he could recognize the persons he had been
with all his life through; those he had loved as well as those
he had hated. Those he had supported and those he had fought.
But the biggest surprise of all for him was that now, he was
absolutely unable to see their imperfections, their defects,
what formerly had embarrassed him so much, and against which
he had fought.
He met the Old Wise Man again.
"What have you learnt on your path?" he asked him.
"I have learnt", the Prince answered, "that by being in
agreement with myself, I had no more anything to blame in the
others, no more anything to be afraid of in them. I have
learnt how to accept and to love the others, totally,
unconditionally."
"That's good!", the Old Wise Man said. "It is the second
rule in Wisdom. You can go back through the second door."
On reaching the other side of the second door, the Prince
perceived in the distance the back side of the first door,
on which he could read:
"ACCEPT THE WORLD".
"Strangely enough", he said to himself, "that I did not see
these words on the first time". He looked all around him and
recognized this world which he had tried to conquer, to
transform, to change. He was struck by the brightness and
the beauty of every thing. By their perfection.
Nevertheless, it was the same world as before. Was it
the world which had changed or the glance he had on it?
He met the Old Wise Man who asked him:
"What have you learnt on your path?"
"I have learnt", the Prince said, that the world is a mirror
for my soul. That my soul can't see the world, it sees itself
in the world. When my soul is cheerful, the world seems cheerful
to it.
When it is overcome, the world seems sad to it. The world
itself is neither sad nor cheerful. It IS there; it exists; it
is everything. It was Not the world that disturbed me, but the
idea that I had of it. I have learnt to accept it without
judging it, to accept it totally, unconditionally. "
"It is 3rd rule of Wisdom", the Old Man said.
"You are here now in agreement with yourself, with the others
and with the World."
A profound feeling of peace, serenity, plenitude, filled
the Prince. Silence was in him.
"Now, you are ready to go past the last Threshold", the
Old Wise Man said, "the one that goes from the silence of
Plenitude to the Plenitude of Silence ".
And the Old Man disappeared.
(Text proposed by Franēoise Laurent)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Desiderata
Desiderata
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what
peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without
surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to
others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their
story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations
to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may
become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep
interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real
possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world
is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and
everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither
be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantement, it is as perrenial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering
the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you
in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark
imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and
the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not
it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him
to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the
noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still
a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945).
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what
peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without
surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to
others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their
story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations
to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may
become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep
interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real
possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world
is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what
virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and
everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither
be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantement, it is as perrenial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering
the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you
in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark
imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and
the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not
it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him
to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the
noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still
a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
"Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945).
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Success Is Not Bought but Built from the ground Up
"The real winners in life are the people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better."
- Barbara Pletcher, author
"Life is the sum of all your choices."
- Albert Camus, Author
"I don't think that once you get to one level, you can relax. You've got to keep pushing. "
- Larry Bird, basketball player
"Don't ever be afraid to admit you were wrong. It's like saying you're wiser today than you were yesterday."
- Robert Newell, humorist
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
- John Wooden, basketball coach
"Deal first with whatever is causing you the greatest emotional distress. Often this will break the logjam in your work and free you up mentally to complete (the) other tasks."
- Brian Tracy, motivational coach
"No matter how good an idea sounds, test it first. "
- Henry Bloch, H&R Block co-founder
"To some degree, you control your life by controlling your time. "
- Conrad Hilton, hotel executive
"Every memorable act in the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles."
- Og Mandion
"Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th."
- Julie Andrews, actress
"You can't do it unless you can imagine it."
- George Lucas, director
"Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict."
- William Channing, theologian
"Without courage, all other virtues lose their meaning."
- Winston Churchill, British prime minister
"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail."
- Dorothea Brande, writer
"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."
- Lucille Ball, actress
"The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. "
- Hugh White, senator
"Action is the real measure of intelligence."
- Napolean Hill, author
"Problems should be solved on the spot, as soon as they arise. No frontline employee should have to wait for a supervisor's permission."
- Jan Carlzon, airline executive
"You are not beaten until you admit it."
- George Patton, general
"Successful people form the habit of doing what failures don't like to do. They like the results they get by doing what they don't necessarily enjoy. "
- Earl Nightingale, Motivational Speaker
"In a decisive set, confidence is the difference."
- Chris Evert, Tennis Champion
"Mickey Mouse popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad... when the business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at their lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner."
- Walt Disney, producer
"A man watches his pear tree, day after day, impatient for the ripening of the fruit. Let him attempt to force the process, and he may spoil both the fruit and tree. But let him patiently wait, and the ripe pear, at length, falls into his lap."
- Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States
"The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake."
- Alan Greenspan, economist
- Barbara Pletcher, author
"Life is the sum of all your choices."
- Albert Camus, Author
"I don't think that once you get to one level, you can relax. You've got to keep pushing. "
- Larry Bird, basketball player
"Don't ever be afraid to admit you were wrong. It's like saying you're wiser today than you were yesterday."
- Robert Newell, humorist
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
- John Wooden, basketball coach
"Deal first with whatever is causing you the greatest emotional distress. Often this will break the logjam in your work and free you up mentally to complete (the) other tasks."
- Brian Tracy, motivational coach
"No matter how good an idea sounds, test it first. "
- Henry Bloch, H&R Block co-founder
"To some degree, you control your life by controlling your time. "
- Conrad Hilton, hotel executive
"Every memorable act in the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles."
- Og Mandion
"Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th."
- Julie Andrews, actress
"You can't do it unless you can imagine it."
- George Lucas, director
"Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict."
- William Channing, theologian
"Without courage, all other virtues lose their meaning."
- Winston Churchill, British prime minister
"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail."
- Dorothea Brande, writer
"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."
- Lucille Ball, actress
"The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. "
- Hugh White, senator
"Action is the real measure of intelligence."
- Napolean Hill, author
"Problems should be solved on the spot, as soon as they arise. No frontline employee should have to wait for a supervisor's permission."
- Jan Carlzon, airline executive
"You are not beaten until you admit it."
- George Patton, general
"Successful people form the habit of doing what failures don't like to do. They like the results they get by doing what they don't necessarily enjoy. "
- Earl Nightingale, Motivational Speaker
"In a decisive set, confidence is the difference."
- Chris Evert, Tennis Champion
"Mickey Mouse popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad... when the business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at their lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner."
- Walt Disney, producer
"A man watches his pear tree, day after day, impatient for the ripening of the fruit. Let him attempt to force the process, and he may spoil both the fruit and tree. But let him patiently wait, and the ripe pear, at length, falls into his lap."
- Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States
"The true measure of a career is to be able to be content, even proud, that you succeeded through your own endeavors without leaving a trail of casualties in your wake."
- Alan Greenspan, economist
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The legend of the Cracked Pot
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each
end of a pole which he carried across hls neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was
perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end
of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full 2 years this went on daily, with the bearer
delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's
house.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,
perfect to the end for which it was made.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection,
and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what
it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure,
it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"
"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only
half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak
out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws,
you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value
from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his
compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want
you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice
of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the
path and this cheered it some. But at the end of tile trail, it
still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so
again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were
flowers only on YOUR side of your path, but not on the other
pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw,
and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side
of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream,
you've watered them.
For 2 years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers
to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way
you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked
pots.
Some of us don't grow old gracefully, some are not so smart,
some are tall, large & big, some bald, some physically challenged,
but it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives
together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look
for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is
a lot of good in you, Jacques!
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!
Or as I like to think of it - If it's not for the crackpots in my
life, it would be pretty boring.
Thank you for being my crackpot friend, Jacques. :)
-----
Courtesy: my friend Christian Godefroy
P.S.: Can't help being reminded of this Psychologists' joke/ definition of cracked pot: Psycho-ceramic! :o)
Have a great weekend, All you Crackpots!
Your Crackpot Friend,
Jacques
end of a pole which he carried across hls neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was
perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end
of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full 2 years this went on daily, with the bearer
delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's
house.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments,
perfect to the end for which it was made.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection,
and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what
it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure,
it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"
"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only
half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak
out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws,
you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value
from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his
compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want
you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice
of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the
path and this cheered it some. But at the end of tile trail, it
still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so
again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were
flowers only on YOUR side of your path, but not on the other
pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw,
and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side
of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream,
you've watered them.
For 2 years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers
to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way
you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked
pots.
Some of us don't grow old gracefully, some are not so smart,
some are tall, large & big, some bald, some physically challenged,
but it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives
together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look
for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is
a lot of good in you, Jacques!
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!
Or as I like to think of it - If it's not for the crackpots in my
life, it would be pretty boring.
Thank you for being my crackpot friend, Jacques. :)
-----
Courtesy: my friend Christian Godefroy
P.S.: Can't help being reminded of this Psychologists' joke/ definition of cracked pot: Psycho-ceramic! :o)
Have a great weekend, All you Crackpots!
Your Crackpot Friend,
Jacques
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Are You A Workoholic? (Concl.)
Workaholism is remarkably similar to alcoholism in some ways. Just as an alcoholic will hide bottles around the house and drink furtively, for example, workaholics may try to sneak in work when they think no one is looking.
"It's something that I did in the throes of my own work addiction, and when I think about it now it sounds pretty sick," Robinson says. He once hid some work papers in his jeans after his family went through his suitcase looking for his secret stash while packing for a trip to the beach, he tells WebMD.
Other key signs of workaholism are:
Trouble delegating work (workaholics tend to be control freaks and micro-managers)
Neglecting other aspects of one's nonworking life (like the dad who never has time to attend Junior's school play)
Incorporating other aspects of life into work (such as trying to turn a hobby into a new business)
Workaholics: All Work and No Play
A workaholic might seem to be every CEO's dream: an employee who comes in early, stays late, doesn't take vacations, and takes on mountains of work. But those very qualities may make the workaholic a poor candidate for employee of the month because they often have more work than they can handle effectively, don't delegate, aren't team players, and are often more disorganized than their less compulsive colleagues, Robinson says.
In addition, workaholics may refuse to take time off, even when their work performance is affected -- although here cultural expectations and financial realities may come into play.
"People are afraid to take vacations because they're afraid that with all the downsizing and the economy being what it is that they'd be the first to go," Robinson says.
"I train residents at McLean Hospital," Neuhaus says, "and I tell them, 'You have to take vacations. Go away. You're not going to be any good to me if you don't take vacations.'"
Are Workaholics Hurting Their Health?
Like other forms of addiction, workaholism can have significant health consequences, experts say, including significantly higher work-related stress and job burn-out rates, anger, depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic symptoms such as stomachaches and headaches.
Despite the symptoms, workaholics may be in deep denial about their addiction, like a severely emaciated teen with anorexia who looks in the mirror and sees herself as obese.
Montefiore's Rego tells WebMD that workaholics often need prodding from family and friends to seek help when "the seesaw of life is tilted too much toward work."
One highly effective treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of psychotherapy focused on identifying and modifying negative thoughts and thought patterns.
"The workaholic might have a set of beliefs about the value of work which are misguided," Rego says. "And if you can intervene cognitively -- not to correct or get rid of them, but just make them a little more rational -- you might see a change in the behavior and consequent stress reaction."
Robinson helps workaholics develop a self-care plan examining five aspects of their lives: work, relationships, play, self, and spiritual life."This helps them see in black and white where their lives are lacking," Robinson says.
He also helps patients understand that they don't have to go cold turkey or quit their jobs, but find a balance in their lives and identify what's most important to them, whether it's family, friendships, religion, or beliefs.
Workaholics Anonymous, a national support group modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, publishes on its web site a list of questions that can help you determine whether you are a certified workaholic or just unusually diligent. Positive answers to three or more of the questions may signal the need for help. The group hosts meetings around the country where people with similar problems can share ideas anonymously and provide support and solutions that will help them balance their lives.
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter
"It's something that I did in the throes of my own work addiction, and when I think about it now it sounds pretty sick," Robinson says. He once hid some work papers in his jeans after his family went through his suitcase looking for his secret stash while packing for a trip to the beach, he tells WebMD.
Other key signs of workaholism are:
Trouble delegating work (workaholics tend to be control freaks and micro-managers)
Neglecting other aspects of one's nonworking life (like the dad who never has time to attend Junior's school play)
Incorporating other aspects of life into work (such as trying to turn a hobby into a new business)
Workaholics: All Work and No Play
A workaholic might seem to be every CEO's dream: an employee who comes in early, stays late, doesn't take vacations, and takes on mountains of work. But those very qualities may make the workaholic a poor candidate for employee of the month because they often have more work than they can handle effectively, don't delegate, aren't team players, and are often more disorganized than their less compulsive colleagues, Robinson says.
In addition, workaholics may refuse to take time off, even when their work performance is affected -- although here cultural expectations and financial realities may come into play.
"People are afraid to take vacations because they're afraid that with all the downsizing and the economy being what it is that they'd be the first to go," Robinson says.
"I train residents at McLean Hospital," Neuhaus says, "and I tell them, 'You have to take vacations. Go away. You're not going to be any good to me if you don't take vacations.'"
Are Workaholics Hurting Their Health?
Like other forms of addiction, workaholism can have significant health consequences, experts say, including significantly higher work-related stress and job burn-out rates, anger, depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic symptoms such as stomachaches and headaches.
Despite the symptoms, workaholics may be in deep denial about their addiction, like a severely emaciated teen with anorexia who looks in the mirror and sees herself as obese.
Montefiore's Rego tells WebMD that workaholics often need prodding from family and friends to seek help when "the seesaw of life is tilted too much toward work."
One highly effective treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of psychotherapy focused on identifying and modifying negative thoughts and thought patterns.
"The workaholic might have a set of beliefs about the value of work which are misguided," Rego says. "And if you can intervene cognitively -- not to correct or get rid of them, but just make them a little more rational -- you might see a change in the behavior and consequent stress reaction."
Robinson helps workaholics develop a self-care plan examining five aspects of their lives: work, relationships, play, self, and spiritual life."This helps them see in black and white where their lives are lacking," Robinson says.
He also helps patients understand that they don't have to go cold turkey or quit their jobs, but find a balance in their lives and identify what's most important to them, whether it's family, friendships, religion, or beliefs.
Workaholics Anonymous, a national support group modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs, publishes on its web site a list of questions that can help you determine whether you are a certified workaholic or just unusually diligent. Positive answers to three or more of the questions may signal the need for help. The group hosts meetings around the country where people with similar problems can share ideas anonymously and provide support and solutions that will help them balance their lives.
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Are You a Workaholic?
You might as well face it -- you’re addicted to work. Could your workaholism be hurting you?
By Neil Osterweil
WebMD FeatureReviewed by Louise Chang, MD
On the seventh day, even God rested.
But for workaholics, the day of rest never comes. There is always one more email to read, one more phone call to take, one more critically important trip to the office that can't wait until Monday.
Weekends? Holidays? Family? As the uber-workaholic Ebenezer Scrooge put it, "Bah, humbug!"
"It used to be that I never went on vacation without my laptop and a couple of beepers," says George Giokas, who describes himself as a "reformed" workaholic. When he was starting his company, StaffWriters Plus, in the pre-BlackBerry mid-1990s, Giokas spent more than a few late nights and nearly every Saturday at the office, he tells WebMD.
As he confessed to the online edition of Business Week in 1999, "I've struggled with the weekend issue many times, trying to figure out why I absolutely have to work then. It must be ingrained in me to the point of being a kind of addiction -- like going to the health club every day. If I miss one day, I feel awful."
But Giokas has since learned that the problems that pop up when he's away from the office will still be there when he gets back, and that what happens in the office stays in the office.
"I'm not the sort of person to bring home problems," he says, "and I don't dwell on issues. I get a pretty good night's sleep."
Workaholism: A Life Out of Balance
Not every workaholic, however, is able to achieve the balance that Giokas has found.
Justin Blanton, who practices law in California's Silicon Valley, tells WebMD that he is a workaholic and that the problem has only gotten worse in the four years since he wrote the following on his blog:
"Whether I'm reading a Harry Potter book on my PDA while waiting in the deli line, checking email on my phone as soon as my date makes for the ladies room, or heading back to my computer each commercial break (no TiVo… yet) -- I'm always checking something."
"It's gotten worse in the sense that it hasn't let up at all, and I feel more compelled to be busy," Blanton says today.
In a culture that prizes work ethic, overachievement, and financial success -- where gazillionaires such as Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are household names, and Donald Trump has his own television show -- people who are addicted to working are seen by outsiders as smart, ambitious, and entrepreneurial.
"The system is almost built to reinforce workaholics," says Simon A. Rego, PsyD, associate director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. "Those are the people who end up getting positive job evaluations, get opportunities for promotion, and see themselves getting bonuses or raises. It's almost like the system has a built-in model to give them free hits of what they're addicted to."
Even when out of the office, workaholics can satisfy their cravings with cell phones, PDAs, laptops, and WiFi, which ensure that work need never be out of reach.
But blaming technology for workaholism is like blaming the supermarket for food addiction or the corner liquor store for alcoholism, says Bryan E. Robinson, PhD, author of Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them.
Robinson and other clinicians who treat patients for work-associated stress say that working hard and having easy access to work does not automatically make someone a workaholic.
"It's important to understand the context," says Edmund Neuhaus, PhD, director of the Behavioral Health Partial Hospital Program at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. "If you're working to the exclusion of your family, your marriage, other relationships, and your life is out of balance, or your physical health is out of balance -- when work takes an exclusive priority to everything else, that's the more extreme end of the spectrum where it becomes a problem," Neuhaus tells WebMD.
"The preoccupation with work is really at the core of what workaholism is," says Robinson, professor emeritus at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, and a psychotherapist in private practice in Asheville, N.C. "I always say that the difference between someone who's a true workaholic and someone who's just a hard worker is that the workaholic is on the ski slopes dreaming about being back at work, and the hard worker is in the office dreaming about being on the ski slope."
(Continued in our next post)
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter
By Neil Osterweil
WebMD FeatureReviewed by Louise Chang, MD
On the seventh day, even God rested.
But for workaholics, the day of rest never comes. There is always one more email to read, one more phone call to take, one more critically important trip to the office that can't wait until Monday.
Weekends? Holidays? Family? As the uber-workaholic Ebenezer Scrooge put it, "Bah, humbug!"
"It used to be that I never went on vacation without my laptop and a couple of beepers," says George Giokas, who describes himself as a "reformed" workaholic. When he was starting his company, StaffWriters Plus, in the pre-BlackBerry mid-1990s, Giokas spent more than a few late nights and nearly every Saturday at the office, he tells WebMD.
As he confessed to the online edition of Business Week in 1999, "I've struggled with the weekend issue many times, trying to figure out why I absolutely have to work then. It must be ingrained in me to the point of being a kind of addiction -- like going to the health club every day. If I miss one day, I feel awful."
But Giokas has since learned that the problems that pop up when he's away from the office will still be there when he gets back, and that what happens in the office stays in the office.
"I'm not the sort of person to bring home problems," he says, "and I don't dwell on issues. I get a pretty good night's sleep."
Workaholism: A Life Out of Balance
Not every workaholic, however, is able to achieve the balance that Giokas has found.
Justin Blanton, who practices law in California's Silicon Valley, tells WebMD that he is a workaholic and that the problem has only gotten worse in the four years since he wrote the following on his blog:
"Whether I'm reading a Harry Potter book on my PDA while waiting in the deli line, checking email on my phone as soon as my date makes for the ladies room, or heading back to my computer each commercial break (no TiVo… yet) -- I'm always checking something."
"It's gotten worse in the sense that it hasn't let up at all, and I feel more compelled to be busy," Blanton says today.
In a culture that prizes work ethic, overachievement, and financial success -- where gazillionaires such as Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are household names, and Donald Trump has his own television show -- people who are addicted to working are seen by outsiders as smart, ambitious, and entrepreneurial.
"The system is almost built to reinforce workaholics," says Simon A. Rego, PsyD, associate director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. "Those are the people who end up getting positive job evaluations, get opportunities for promotion, and see themselves getting bonuses or raises. It's almost like the system has a built-in model to give them free hits of what they're addicted to."
Even when out of the office, workaholics can satisfy their cravings with cell phones, PDAs, laptops, and WiFi, which ensure that work need never be out of reach.
But blaming technology for workaholism is like blaming the supermarket for food addiction or the corner liquor store for alcoholism, says Bryan E. Robinson, PhD, author of Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them.
Robinson and other clinicians who treat patients for work-associated stress say that working hard and having easy access to work does not automatically make someone a workaholic.
"It's important to understand the context," says Edmund Neuhaus, PhD, director of the Behavioral Health Partial Hospital Program at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. "If you're working to the exclusion of your family, your marriage, other relationships, and your life is out of balance, or your physical health is out of balance -- when work takes an exclusive priority to everything else, that's the more extreme end of the spectrum where it becomes a problem," Neuhaus tells WebMD.
"The preoccupation with work is really at the core of what workaholism is," says Robinson, professor emeritus at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, and a psychotherapist in private practice in Asheville, N.C. "I always say that the difference between someone who's a true workaholic and someone who's just a hard worker is that the workaholic is on the ski slopes dreaming about being back at work, and the hard worker is in the office dreaming about being on the ski slope."
(Continued in our next post)
Courtesy: WebMD.com newsletter
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