During my recent traumatic colon cancer episode, I appreciated very much the moral support from relatives, friends and acquaintances who expressed concerns, sent good wishes and prayers my way. Visits in the Hospital were cherries on the cake.
Conversely, I also noted how others suddenly appeared to vanish from the scene.
It would appear that their aversion to anything but exposure to good health and times, affluence, parties complete with lavish gourmet foods and drinks , laughter and pleasurable non-responsibilities possibly sent them off to convents and monasteries where they must have taken the Vow of Silence. LOL.
Well…that was one way to separate the wheat from the chaff, I suppose…Since I feel neither bitter nor vengeful, it must be the season of good riddance…
The most dramatic shock, or revelation, of this entire experience was just given me by one who so loudly…sincerely…convincingly…emailed me how much she cared, was deeply concerned, loved me, was “always there for me”, even offered to come over, make me chicken soup and clean my car (of all things)…
She and I were quite close for months…she would come and visit me with her two-year-old adorable little son and we shared many memorable times together…They live by the beach, about a half hour away.
She is a highly professional, degreed computer technician who helped me out of tight spots on several occasions (major computer problems). My being technically just the opposite made her support all the more precious.
Back to the soup and car wash (which were just a couple of offers amongst implications of many more, yet none requested, thus none fulfilled, )…being in desperate need to have a professional web site built to facilitate spreading the vital help which my Trainings, Blogs, Techniques, Seminars, etc. would represent to millions of individuals around the globe, who would greatly benefit from them…
…I decided to give her a chance to manifest the countless statements, offers and claims she has been emailing (I saw her once in the past two years...and that was one year ago)…that she loves me “so much!”…that I am her Best Friend and the most important person in her life…
…I asked that she somehow “make” the time within her busy schedule (she is much in demand) and finally finish building that website she started over three years ago…and offered to pay her going rate, on credit, however, since she knows and trusts me so.
All I got back from the explicit, warm, low-pressure, sincere appeal I sent her weeks ago was a couple of lines stating she’d be in touch as soon as she can… Knowing her well, and reading between the lines, I could sense her “panic” within her hurried (and harried), "dry" message.
And, today, after enough time has elapsed for me to think and say this: I realize that all those lofty “Hurrahs” may have been meant to feed and satisfy her own need to play a role.
That of a claimed do-gooder…a Good or Best Friend…a Super-Generous, Giving, Selfless poor man’s Mother Teresa of sorts…a young woman who, when she utters the words, “I Love You So Much!” only Loves the romantic Idea of Love...and the person to whom that message is sent is but a paper target at which to shoot all those hearts pierced by arrows…or a spitoon, a throw-back from the old cowboy Saloon days, into which to vacate excess chewing tabakky juices...:o)
In Psychology, this sort of hysterical "act", complete with emotionalism and energetic, well intended monologues, is often a signal of possible manic-depression, now better known as bi-polarity…and the end results of such games are tantamount to mental masturbation...lol
No, I am not being “mean” nor less than understanding…perhaps merely recognizing some textbook signals of “loud barks” followed by the absence of bites or nibbles…or, “The road to Hell is paved by the Best of INTENTIONS”…or, “After All has been said and done, far more will have been Said than DONE”…etc…
For it would seem that she, too, has now taken that Vow of Silence…or is emulating an ostrich with its head stuck in the sand, hoping “he” will forget all about "it" and go away…:o)
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I just may decide to insert this little essay in my Book, “Promises…Promises… Promises… (How to Make Less and Keep them All”) – which is about the Psychological Imperative of learning to be(come) a Habitual Promise Keeper instead of an Excuse Maker…
And, to conclude this on a most Positive Note:
For those of you who did not read my "I'M PAaaaa-ak!" post, let me gratefully repeat that, after three days of anxious anticipation to learn the results of the extensive Lab. Tests performed on the malignant tumor and twenty-five lymph. glands which were removed together with a chunk of my ascending (right) colon during my recent surgery…the Surgeon, Dr. H. Barrera, personally came to my Hospital room to deliver the good news: Not a single lymph. gland had any cancer!
This small “miracle” is like A Gift from Above...a Second Chance at Life, and Dr. Barrera admitted that my deep self-hypnotic “Modulations”, which I did three times a day for about a month preceding the surgery, may have kept the cancer at bay and within the tumor, instead of spreading...
This same conclusion was also reached by Dr. Gregory Wiener, the Internist who discovered the tumor during that recent colonoscopy, who had the Lab. verify that it contained cancer cells.
I shall ask both my Physicians to write me a statement to that effect “for my files” of Professional Testimonials. And to encourage otherwise despondent cancer patients to learn and practice the special The I.D.S. (Inner Dimensions Seminars) and S.L.I.M. For Life Modulations © which I had the privilege of developing and teaching during my many years of practice, which helped a number of my patients, and one friend, “cure” their own cancers.
Life is Great!... Welcome to my Life!...Make Yours a Wonderful Life and Weekend!
Your Friend,
Jacques
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